How Bittersweet It Is
by UxieSweetie
Summary: Raven is just trying to find her way in the world…but it's not working. She's in a world where she doesn't belong, and she meets someone who also doesn't belong. He doesn't belong anywhere, not even in her arms. But she insists.  NnyXoc -Finished-
1. Intro Poem

_**AN- Be honest...how lame is this?**_

**_I realize how uneven the styles of poetry are, but at least I made one that rhymes. Most of my poems don't rhyme._**

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"_**How lovely you are; so lovely in my straightjacket, though the bloodstains do clash with your lipstick. No matter…You are beautiful."**_

_**~Johnny "Nny" C. (JTHM)**_

I can see your tears.

Oh, they do enchant me in such a way.

How bittersweet they are.

Maybe, just maybe, you'll live another day.

I can see your fears.

Yes, they make me smile oh so much.

How bittersweet they are.

I bet you'll cringe from just my touch.

I can see your despair;

The feeling of hatred and desperation.

How bittersweet it is.

So bittersweet indeed…

If I kiss your cheeks right now,

Will I taste your desperation?

If I kiss your cheeks right now,

Will I taste my domination?

If I kiss your lips right now,

Will they be bittersweet, too?

If I take this blade across your throat

And spill your blood across the floor,

Will I see the promises that you swore?

Will I feel the things that you abhor?

I'll try.

I can see your lips.

Oh, how they enchant me in such a way.

How bittersweet they are,

Reddened with your despair today.

Today, I can taste your bittersweet internal passions.

I can taste your blood, your hate, your anger.

I can taste your lips.

I see your eyes.

Oh, they are so blank, I can't even see myself.

How bitter…

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_**AN- I DO NOT OWN JTHM. It belongs to Jhonen Vasquez!**_


	2. Prologue and Chapter One

_**AN- WELL I almost wasn't gonna do this...but I broke and did it! ^_^ I hope you enjoy... O_o**_

_**~UxieSweetie**_

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**Prologue**

Raven Macbeth is a twenty-two year old café employee who's just trying to find her way in the world…but it seems to not be working. Work has interrupted her school and now trying to pay back student loans that she never had the opportunity to use and with the stress of not only having to work approximately forty hours a week, those forty hours are mostly spent in the presence of sex mongers and stuck-ups. She lives in a world where she does not belong, and she meets someone who also does not belong. But he does not belong anywhere, not even in her arms. But she insists that he does.

Let's rewind some 8 months to where it first started.

**Chapter One**

It was a day as normal as ever. Raven Macbeth did always the same thing every day (excluding weekends). She'd wake up and shower, go to work and serve coffee to the assholes that made their daily rounds for seven hours, and then go home and sleep for the rest of the day. Starcents Coffee offered nothing but irritation this particular day, minus her usual customer who always ordered a chai tea latte with an extra shot of chai. She set it down on his table. "There you go." She smiled. "Enjoy."

"Thank you." He looked up and smiled at her. She nodded and left the table, leaving him with his cup. Returning behind the bar, she slicked back her dark hair into a ponytail, washed her hands, and proceeded to make the beverages in the waiting line.

"Hey Sweet Cheeks!" one of the other customers called cockily. She looked up, seeing some douche bag with his buddies at the bar. "What's shakin'?" She shook her head and continued her work. "C'mon, honey! Why you not talking to us today?"

"Because, "she said plainly, "you say the same thing every day."

"Aww, but this is different. This time, I got an offer you can NOT refuse! I'll pay ya double for oral than what Mikey here would pay for a hand job!" Raven glared.

"Please don't make me report you again."

The first man reached across the bar and gripped her hand. "C'mon, Babe. I'll make it worth your while." She pulled away, disgusted by this action.

"Go fuck yourselves!"

"Why? You can do it for us!"

"Excuse me!" The customer with the chai came up behind the men. "I do believe she said 'no,' am I correct?" The group of men glowered. "Well, am I?"

"Huh. Let's go. King Killjoy just walked in." They packed up their belongings and left the café. Raven sighed in relief.

"Thank you. They always do that." The man smiled. Raven caught herself blush just a little when he did. She adored his smile. She often wondered why he came here when everyone else was so arrogant and cocky. He definitely didn't belong; but then again, neither did she. They were two tuna in a sea of salmon, two dogs in a pound of cats, two worms in a rat cage.

He shifted his weight on his feet and dug through his pockets. "I hate guys who do that. Complete epitomes of disgust. Well," he placed the money in her hand, "here you go. I'll see you later." Chills ran up her spine. His hands were so cold, but so soft…she just wanted to touch them…just a little longer. But it was short lived as he pulled away and headed out the door.

Evening came faster than Raven had expected. She locked up the café and walked down the dark sidewalks of the town with her hair let down to her shoulders. Sighing, she took out her cell phone and typed a number on the screen, 9-1-1, and put it in her jacket picket. She was always paranoid when walking at night alone and keeping the emergency line handy made her feel more relazed.

"Psst!" She heard. "Psst, hey, Sweet Cheeks!" Looking around, she saw no one. Well, there was a cat, but it didn't count. Her heart pounded in her chest and she held the phone tightly in her hand. "Sweet Heart, don't be afraid." Jolting around, she saw the guys from the café hear an alley. "We won't hurt you; we just wanna get what we didn't earlier." The first one, the one who gripped her arm, smiled evilly. She backed up, but stopped when she ran into something. Raven whipped around and saw a gun.

Though it was not aimed at her, she still panicked and fell to her knees and feared for her life. "Wanna bet?" The gun wielder growled angrily. Raven scrambled behind him, away from the group of men she'd first come into contact with. Four loud pops and the street went silent. Not even the crickets chirped in the bushes. The gun holder put his weapon away and sighed. "Oh, the world would be so much nicer if people only used guns on themselves, although spraying the vile of the world with lead is almost as nice." He turned to look at Raven, still trembling in fear. "Hey. I think you'd better get home. Insanities crawl around at times like this." Raven peered into his eyes. His eyes were so familiar, as was his smile; the same nonchalant smile she saw earlier that day when cold hands touched hers.

It was him. He had saved her. He, with sickly beige skin; he, with an icy cold touch; he, with a soul-shattering gaze. She could feel herself redden, and was thankful that it was dark outside.

"Insanities like me." He finished coolly. Raven gulped.

"T-thank you for helping me." She said quietly, standing up to his level, though he was quite a bit taller than she. She took a step closer to at least attempt to hug him foer his noble duties, but he stepped away in synch with her. "I guess I'll s-see you later, eh?" He nodded. She smiled and turned towards her home. She wasn't sure if she heard him correctly, but she heard him say, "I think your blood will make a fine fresh coat anyways."

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**_AN- Well...what didja think? It's not exactly what I would say "Award Winning"...BUT I don't think it's AWEFUL...what do YOU think, Uxie wonders..._**

**_~UxieS._**


	3. Chapter 2

**_AN- YEAH! Chapter 2 down didly squat! *wtf?* so yeah. Hope it's better than chapter 1..._**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

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Chapter 2

Raven awoke the next day and headed for work as any other week day would have demanded. She was relieved to see that the group of horny men was not there this morning…but why weren't they? Oh yeah! The night before, they died. Raven sighed. Being a soul of gentle nature, she should have been upset by witnessing their murders, but she wasn't. She was more relieved, to be honest. The only thing that would have made it better would be if her rescuer would have allowed her to hug him.

"Raven!" Her coworker snapped. "We have six drinks not yet made!"

"Oh!" She blinked. "S-sorry, Kathy!" She quickly got to work on the drinks and in a matter of minutes, the six frothy caffeinated beverages were finished and out.

"A small chai tea please." Raven heard. Her face got warm as she felt her heart speed up dramatically.

"Yes, Sir. It'll be out in a moment. Raven, one small ch…"

"I heard." She said as she got to work making the tea for her regular. Kathy smiled as she watched her work.

Kathy chuckled. "You like him?" Raven turned to face her red-haired coworker, chai tea in hand.

"Don't be ridiculous! He's just a customer…yeah." She walked briskly to the table, setting the tea in front of him. "Y-your tea is on the house t-today." She stuttered blushing as her voice cracked at the end. He smiled, which made her turn a brighter crimson.

He took the cup into his hands. "Thank you." Raven, as childish as it sounded, wished that her hands could be that cup. She smiled and proceeded to the coffee bar. She jumped back a little as a cup fell from a table and landed in front of her, spilling its contents on the tile floor.

Raven smiled at the customer who spilled it, a scrawny little child with a shocked and apologetic expression. "Don't worry, I'll get it." Kathy waited for her with a mop, which Raven took hold of and sopped up the coffee mess. She heard _his_ voice come from the register.

"Here's my money for the tea. Don't let her pay for it."

"No! No, don't—ah!" He turned to face her, but slipped on the still wet floor and fell into her, sandwiching her between the floor and his body. If that wasn't awkward enough, during the fumble, he managed to accidentally slip between her legs. Raven blushed horribly knowing how close he was. He blushed as well. They barely even noticed the entire café gaping at the oddity. Kathy was behind the bar laughing to the point of crying.

He smiled. "By the way, my name's Johnny. Nny for short." Raven chuckled dryly.

"I'm Raven."

"Hmm, pretty name for a pretty girl." Johnny said as he got up from her and helped her to her feet. "When do you get off today?"

Raven blinked. "Ten. W-why?" Johnny smiled and shrugged, taking the cup of tea and walking out the door. Her heart returned to normal pace and she returned behind the bar, making drinks for whoever came in.

"Ah, Raven! Looks like you got yourself a date with him!" She shot a glare at Kathy.

"He probably just wants to say how awkward that was."

"Raven, it's ok. Everyone falls for their person. My husband and I fell off the same boat. We've been married for three years."

"Well…that's you. Not me." Kathy shrugged and continued on her work.

Ten o'clock rolled around quickly, and Raven locked the café doors and began walking home, 9-1-1 on her screen. It was colder outside than it was the previous night. She thought about what happened that day, the fall, and what would have happened if she had kissed him then, not caring what would happen. She wanted to. Oh, goodness, did she want to! But that would have been wrong on so many levels. Her thoughts were quickly interrupted when she was roughly grabbed and shoved to the ground, her phone flying out of her pocket.

Blackness.

Blackness when she awoke. 'What the hell?' She thought to herself. A blindfold, of course, was wrapped around her eyes. Her arms were retrained in a T like position, making it impossible for her to move. 'Oh shit, oh shit!' She began panicking. A sharp metallic sound, as if a blade was being grinded on a rock, filled her ears. It was much like a metronome, grind, silence, grind, silence, grind, silence…

"You should have invested in a car." A voice rang from across the room. "Insanities lurk around at night." Raven pulled at her restraints. "I wrote a poem about you yesterday. Want to hear it?"

"W-what are you doing with me?" She stuttered. The man across the room chuckled.

"You're in my house." Well, no duh! She knew that! That's not what she asked. "You're in one of my many torture rooms. Well, torture-slash-murder. Today, I don't feel the need to torture you."

Raven scowled. "Oh, well thank GOD!" She snapped. "What am I doing here?"

She could hear the sinister smile spread across his face. "You have something I need."

"Oh?"

"You have blood. I need blood, or the 'thing' will escape."

"B-but does it have to be MY lood?"

"No, not necessarily. You seemed like an easy target. And your phone; it's cute." Raven pulled at the restraints once more. Maybe this time something would happen. And something, miraculously, did happen. Loose bolts freed her from the wall and she lunged forward and removed the blindfold. She climbed the steps to the living room of the house, but her escape was short lived. A hand gripped her ankle, making her fall to the ground. Her captor held her down and straddled her sides so she couldn't escape.

Raven, though her instinctive nature was at full gear, recognized his face. It was him; it was Johnny. His face was twisted in an expression of insane glee and horrifying need. He held a blade above his head. Raven looked into his eyes; his eyes were dark, almost black. He had so much hidden behind them, so much hate and anger and pain. She couldn't read much into them for she cringed when he swung his arm down.

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**_AN- HUH? HUUUUH? Is this the END! Only the next chapter will tell._**

**_~UxieS._**


	4. Chapter 3

**_AN- so...tired...nust...keep...writing... X_X (dead)_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

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Chapter 3

Raven cringed, waiting for the sharp pain to come to her. She heard a thud next to her head and she looked to see Johnny. He hung his head and shook like a leaf in the wind. Raven gasped, propping herself up on her elbows. His hand was still wrapped around the knife, which made her nervous, if she wasn't already. She tilted her head to the side. Why didn't he kill her? He was going to ten seconds ago, why not now? Not that she minded or anything. Standing, Johnny turned his back to her and crossed his arms. "Get the fuck out of my house." Raven blinked.

"W-what?"

"Get the fuck out of my house before I change my mind!" Raven stood, nearly toppling over due to clumsiness. She did as he said, not wanting to take that chance.

Johnny stared at the ground for a long moment, cursing himself out. Why was he unable to kill her? He'd always been able to kill whoever he wanted. Frustrated, he kicked the wall and screamed.

**Johnny, don't do that. It's not the end of the world.**

"Mr. Eff," Johnny exclaimed, "you might know why! Why didn't I kill her?" He walked pleadingly to one of his Styrofoam buddies.

**Simple. You just didn't have the right angle of trajectory. If you had impaled her, she would have survived anyways.**

_No way! He just didn't want to make his life more miserable than it already is._

Johnny stepped over to his other Styrofoam friend. "Psycho-Doughboy, I don't think that that's REALLY why I did it…I don't feel any remorse whatsoever about the people I killed before."

**Besides, he was talking to me, D-Boy! Butt out!**

_Do you really think he loves the life he has right now? Why would he want to make things worse? I say, if he's unable to kill anymore, he should just off himself._

**Absolutely not! I say he should just try again at another point. Get a better aim, and kill her on the spot.**

_Shut the hell up! Johnny merely wants to die in peace! Right, Nny?_

"I don't think this is helping." He said blatantly.

Don't listen to them, Nny. They just want to steer you in the wrong direction like they have been for years!

_This is OUR conversation, you stupid, pathetic excuse for a rabbit!_

**This is an A-B conversation! C your way out, Nail Bunny!**

"But there's four of us…I don't know how that would…ah well. What do you think, Nail Bunny?"

You know what I noticed? Before you went to stab her, she locked eyes with you, and after that, you didn't end her life. Why?

Johnny thought a moment, looking towards the wall where the dead bunny was nailed. "Umm…trick question?" The doughboys chuckled.

No! It's not a trick question! This girl obviously has something in her that MADE you not want to kill her. That's what I think.

**The rabbit lies, Nny! He's deceiving you!**

"Actually…" Johnny stated, "I looked in her eyes…and I saw me."

_Your reflection perhaps?_

Johnny shook his head. "No, not that. I looked in her eyes and I saw me…I saw me in her. That's why! I didn't WANT to kill her because that's like killing myself and I didn't WANT to kill myself! It makes perfect sense!"

There you go!

**NO! Johnny, you shit! Listening to that dead thing again! You mother fucker!**

_That's not possibly right! She's so buoyant and you're…well you're not! So stop fucking around and put a bullet through your head!_

"No. It IS right. It is…I can tell. Thank you Nail Bunny! Now, I should go apologize to her. I just hope she doesn't start projectile-vomiting from every orifice when she sees me."

_You think she won't? I mean, seriously, who wouldn't at the sight of you? They wouldn't even have to know you and they'd—_

**Shut up, D-Boy! Your voice kills me on the inside.**

Johnny smiled. "Well, this has been a nice talk. I think."

**You know what you should do?**

"What?"

**Go torture some of your hostages. That makes me smile.**

Nny…

"Haha! Great Idea, Mr. Fuck!" He chimed gleefully and walked down into the dark bowels of the house, leaving the inanimate objects alone.

Raven pounded on Kathy's door relentlessly. Her adrenaline pulsed through her veins and tears streamed down her cheeks, searing the black mascara and eyeliner she applied. The door opened and an exhausted Kathy stood in the doorway. Raven shoved her way into her house and cowered in the corner. "Well hello to you too."

"Call the police!"

"E-excuse me?"

"Call the police! I just got kidnapped and almost murdered!"

Kathy shut the door and walked over to her friend. "By who?"

"Johnny! That customer guy, the one who you THOUGHT asked me on a date! Well, some fucked up date THIS was!"

"What happened?"

Raven blinked away some tears, which Kathy wiped away. "Well…I was walking home but I got attacked from behind, and when I woke up, eh, came to, he was there. He…he had me restrained to the walls. But I got free. But then…then…" she sobbed, "then he actually pinned me and almost stabbed me. But he let me go."

Kathy was stunned. "He…let you go? WHY?"

"Oh! Did you WANT me to die? I don't know! He just did. He said to get the 'fuck' out of his house." Raven clutched her knees and brought them to her chest. "He still has my phone."

"You ran all the way here without it? Brave, Chickie!"

"Well, it's not like things could've gotten any worse! Can I sleep here tonight? I'm afraid of he knows where I live…"

"Sure! You can sleep in the guest room." Raven smiled and hugged Kathy. "We'll call the police tomorrow."

"Thank you."

Johnny walked back up the steps, a big smile across his face and blood coating his stripped shirt. He looked at the clock; 3 am. 'Huh' he thought, 'what a great time. What a great fucking time.'

_Don't smile, Nny._

Johnny glared at the Styrofoam figurine. "Why the hell not?"

_Because killing these people is making you worse. You're sick, Nny. Sick. The only way you can end your suffering is it you-_

"No!" Johnny snapped, jabbing a finger at Psycho-Doughboy. "I don't want to hear it tonight! I'm happy! I'm allowed to be happy if I so damn want to be!"

_For how long? It's only a façade. Things will change, and you'll be unhappy again. Just wait and see._

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" Johnny grimaced and held his hands over his ears.

_Just end it now, before you get disappointed again. It will happen, you know. Maybe not immediately, but it will._

"YOU ASSHOLE! I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Johnny spat. "Why don't you go interrogate someone ELSE?"

_Because, Johnny, I come from you. And this part of you says that it's not worth it anymore._

"Fuck you!" He glared. "I'm going for a walk." Johnny took his trench coat and put it on, walking out the door.

_It'll happen, Johnny. Hehe, and I'll be there._

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_**AN- What didja think? O_o Huh? HUH?  
~UxieS.**_


	5. Chapter 4

**_AN- tired once again, but not as tired as last time! *cheers*_**

**_BTW, to the reviewer "IAmLove", I'm glad that this tory makes your brain happy! XD I wish you had an account so I could thank you in a more personal way and ensure that you recieved it. BUT THANK YOU ANYWAYS! XD that was a really cute comment, it made me giggle. ^_^_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

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Chapter 4

**_Dear Die-Ary. _**

**_I didn't do it. I didn't kill her. Nail Bunny says it's because it was like killing me. Maybe he's right. Maybe I can't kill those like me. That really pisses me off._**

The night was chilly, but Johnny kept walking. He had to clear his mind from D-Boy's comments. Silently, he walked down the vacant sidewalk listening to each footstep he took. He really didn't know where he was going but he kept going, shivering slightly at the cold. Was Psycho-Doughboy right? Was he really going to be miserable forever? No, of course not! Mr. Eff would have been straight with him if that were the case. Johnny gritted his teeth and snarled a bit in frustration.

Raven sat outside with Kathy while Kathy smoked her cigarette. Raven was still shaken up about that happened a few hours prior and Kathy tried her best to comfort her friend. "Raven, don't worry. No one's out at 3 am." Kathy smiled, huffing on her cigarette.

"It's just so unnerving…you don't know!" Raven frowned, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I know it is. We'll call the police in the morning."

"W-wait…t-there's someone…there!" Raven pointed. It was a silhouette of someone, but they so far couldn't tell who it was.

Kathy smirked. "I doubt it's him. I mean, he's not THAT crazy, is he?"

"I don't know! You didn't see him…K-Kathy…" She began trembling.

"Hmm?"

"T-that's him…Johnny…"

Johnny turned his attention towards the direction his name came from and he saw her. Raven trembled, unable to move. Johnny, for some reason, became more terrifying in the dark only lit by the moon. It was as if she was stuck in a nightmare where she was immobilized. Kathy ran in her house for a brief moment and came back out, a black rectangular device in her hands; a gun.

Johnny stepped towards the women. "Raven." He spoke softly, almost a whisper. Kathy pointed the gun at him and cocked it. He glared at her. "Do it!" He snapped. "Raven, I need to talk to you." He lowered his head and sighed. "I…I wanted to say how…how do I say this? I've never done this before. Heh, ok, I'm trying to say that I'm…" He was interrupted by a loud pop followed by a sharp burning pain in his left shoulder. He gripped the wound. Lucky for him, the bullet did not pierce the muscle. It just grazed his skin, ripping a long open would in the dermis. Blood seeped between his fingers as he gnashed his teeth.

Raved stood and hid behind her friend, gaping at the man. She caught sight of his eyes. They, if it was possible, turned an even blacker black when he grimaced at the women.

"Raven, please listen to me."

"No!" She yelled. "You tried to kill me! Why should I listen to you?"

"There was a reason that I didn't kill you!" Johnny responded with the same amount of viciousness.

Raven glowered, heart pounding. "I don't want to hear it!" Johnny shook his head, his disheveled hair falling in his face. He panted due to the pain, but otherwise remained motionless.

"There's a very good reason for why I…" he was once again cut off when another pop rang. Nothing hit him this time. Raven looked over at Kathy.

"You seriously need to work on aiming."

"Shut up!" Kathy spat. Johnny gritted his teeth. Was he really going to beg?

He looked into Raven's eyes once more. "Please…listen to me."

Raven gulped, trembling like a leaf. "I hate you."

"I KNOW you do! But will you…"

"No! I said no! Now leave before we call the police!"

Johnny laughed cynically, his eyes large and wild with a horrifying grin creeping across his face. "I can't get caught! I've never once gotten caught, even WHEN police have been contacted! Not once, in my twenty-six years have I been caught!"

"Y-you're insane." Kathy stuttered.

"Oh, you JUST now figured that out? I've been insane for as long as I can remember! That doesn't change anything! I still can't be caught. I could kill thousands of people at a concert with cameras and everything pointed to me and I STILL would walk away unscathed! Fine, I'll leave you two to each other's company. It's about time I get home anyways. I have to paint the wall." He turned and began walking back towards his house, his hand still on the wound.

"T-the wall?"

Johnny looked over his shoulder, a smile of psychotic happiness on his lips. He merely chuckled and continued on his way.

**Oh, Nny! How was your walk?**

Johnny glared at Mr. Eff. "Shut up!" Johnny slammed the door closed and he went to get the disinfectant from his bathroom.

**Well, it seems as if YOU had a swell time.**

"I said 'shut up!'" He called from the bathroom. He poured the disinfectant on his wound and began stitching it up himself.

**Get into a fight?**

"What was your first clue?" He took off his shirt so as to not disturb the stitching and went to plop on his tattered couch.

Nny, you really should go to the hospital for that.

"Fuck hospitals, Nail Bunny! They'll want to do tests and whatnot!" Je glowered and turned on the television, staring at the fuzzy grey and white screen listening to the white noise that came from the speakers.

_I do hate that sound, Nny. Please turn it off._

"No." Johnny snickered. "Think if this as payback for the countless times you told me to kill myself."

_Well that's not nice._

Johnny stood and walked to the Styrofoam creature. "And you telling me that it's pointless to live and that I should put a bullet through my brain isn't nice either, now is it?"

**YEAH! You go, Nny!**

_SHUT UP, MR. EFF!_

**Why? You're just upset that Johnny's on my side now!**

_Yes, for now! But eventually he'll come to my side and end his miserable excuse for a life!_

**GAH! Why didn't he just LEAVE you in the fucking store? It would be a lot quieter around here if he did!**

_You're just jealous because he got me first!_

"GAH! SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU! I'm in no mood to listen to you two arguing about petty things such as this!"

**That reminds me. Did you kill that girl?**

Johnny turned his beck to them. "No."

Good job, Nny!

**WHAT? Why not?**

"I didn't feel the need. And plus I didn't bring any knives today, so I couldn't have even if I wanted to." He walked into the kitchen and ravaged through his cabinets to find Ibuprofen for the pain in his shoulder.

_You know, Johnny, if you slit your throat, you wouldn't be worried about the pain in your shoulder._

Johnny gritted his teeth. "Shut UP, you O-Zone unfriendly fuck!" He popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed and waited for the pain to ebb away.

Nny…you know what I think you should do? Try talking to her again. You know where she works. Just go there in the morning and talk to her. Maybe she'll listen.

"Y-you think so? But what if she calls in?" Nail Bunny didn't answer, so Johnny went to his desk and began doodling in his notebook more pages of 'Happy Noodle Boy.'

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**_AN- SOOOOOOOOOO? Whatja thinkz of this chapter?_**

**_~UxieS._**


	6. Chapter 5 and 6

**_AN- Lets see. it's 11:40 pm. I put 5 and 6 in the same entry cuz I wanted the chapter numbers to match the numbers on the drop-down menu of chapter select (i hope you get what I'm saying...I'm sooooooo sleepy... -.- ZzZzZzZz_**

**_Chapter 6 is short, simply cuz I'm too tired to make it longer...expect chapter 7 to be longer to make up for chapter 6._**

**_ IAmLove, AAAHH! YOU'RE SO CUTE! XD I just wanna put you in my pocket! (but I won't...that'd just be wierd) LOVES_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

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Chapter 5

Johnny stared at the clock; 11 am. He huffed and continued gazing at nothing on the floor. Would he take Nail Bunny's advice and go see her at work? OR would he try to kill her some other time, like Mr. Eff had suggested? Hmm, flipping a coin seemed like a good idea, so he did. He ravaged through his pockets and found an old beat up penny and threw it across the room, his definition of 'flipping a coin.' He determined that heads was Nail Bunny and tails was Mr. Eff. Grunting, he stood and leisurely walked over to the penny. Heads. Ok, that settled it. He'd go to her work and see if he could talk sense into her.

_What kind of SENSE do you have to talk into her? You can't even make sense between dreams and realities, let alone whatever YOU have to say about that odd situation._

Johnny got dressed in his black and white [Z?] shirt, his usual black jeans, boots, and trench coat and sighed, slipping his favorite knife into his pocket. "Please, not today, D-Boy. I'm about to reach a milestone. Don't ruin it for me."

_I'm being honest. Do you think you can make her like you through fucked up wisdom?_

"I'm not trying to make her like me. I just want her to understand."

_Well, then you wouldn't be trying so hard now, would you?_

"W-well, I suppose not…but I'm not trying to make her like me! She hates me. I just need her to…"

_You NEED her to understand? Ha! I've never heard such words come from YOUR mouth before. Usually you're the one who 'needs to understand.'_

Johnny picked him up. "AND? What are you trying to prove? Are you saying that I'm CHANGING?"

_Well…_

"That's preposterous! Johnny C. doesn't CHANGE! He doesn't go soft!"

_Lies!_

"NO! I do not lie, Psycho-Doughboy! Lying is for 'pretty' people like _her_!"

_Like who, Johnny?_

"LIKE HER! You know DAMN well who I'm talking about!"

_I don't think she's ever lied to you, Nny._

Johnny bit his lip. "I-I don't believe you…"

_No, really. I think she's been pretty straight forward. She even offered to buy your tea, remember? But you STUBBORNLY refused._

"So what? That doesn't MEAN anything!"

_I don't know. The only way to find out is to listen to that stupid rabbit you nailed to the wall._

"He's not a _rabbit_! He's a _bunny_!"

_The difference is…?_

"Bunnies are smaller than rabbits. ACK! Why am I even having this conversation with you? This is stupid!" He set the Styrofoam person down and walked out the door to the café.

_Heh, fool._

Raven, though terrified out of her skull, made it to work on time with Kathy. She stood there making drinks for her customers and received very lousy tips for her labors. She didn't mind though. That'd help pay her student loans. She absentmindedly listened to Kathy babble on and on about random stuff she didn't care about. She sighed, putting the lid on another mocha-latte-thingy and handing it to the customer. "Thank you!" She said as she watched the customer happily sip the beverage. "Kathy, I'm taking my break."

"Alright! Ten minutes!" She responded. Raven nodded and proceeded outside to relax in the sun and sip at her coffee. She read a book she'd brought and laughed every so often at the comedic randomness inside.

"Hey." She heard. She looked up and began panicking. "Please don't run. I just walk to talk." He said sitting down. She didn't dare move. He had the knife in his hand glittering a deadly chrome color. "As you know, I tried to kill you, but I didn't. I debated with myself and my doughboy friends. Oh, you never met them! Anyways, I finally decided why I couldn't—wouldn't—kill you. You remind me of…me."

"YOU?"  
"Hear me out! I didn't believe it right away either! But when I look into your eyes, I see myself. And I don't want to kill myself. That's why I don't want to kill you."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Well…yes, I do. I'm criminally insane, it's in my nature." Raven gaped at him. He gazed upon her, waiting for a reply.

"Well," Raven said after a while, "I think I'll believe you IF you do me one thing."

Johnny blinked. "Yes?"

"Put that knife away." Johnny smiled and he did so.

"Now," he grinned, "how about a chai?" Raven nodded.

She and he walked in the café to Kathy's surprise. She, however, didn't say anything so as to not disturb the man who was so obviously mentally unstable. Raven made the chai and gave it to him. "Sit with me?" Raven hesitated and looked over at Kathy, whose expression was even more surprised than Raven's. But eventually she decided to sit with him. She figured he wouldn't do anything in public.

"S-so…" Raven started, "how long have you been…this way?"

"Deranged? For as long as I can remember. It started really when I watched my parents get murdered."

"S-so…I'm so sorry."

"Shit, its history. Nothing can be done anymore. I'm alone now. Always have been, always will be."

Raven reached across and touched his hand. "You aren't." Johnny retracted his hand as if he had gotten burned by her skin. "You aren't alone."

Johnny glared her straight in the eyes. "What's with the sudden change of heart? First you hate me, now you want to sympathize with me? That's really fucking stupid of you."

"Why?"

"I could snap at any moment and slit your fucking throat if I wanted to."

"But you already said you didn't want to." Johnny pursed his lips. He HAD said he didn't want to kill her, so he was stuck there. He looked down, not knowing what to say.

Raven shifted in the chair and cleared her throat. "M-maybe…well, we kind of know each other, right?" Johnny nodded, raising a questioning eyebrow at her. "M-maybe we could…possibly go see a movie?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"M-maybe." Johnny shook his head in disbelief, chuckling lightly.

"That's fucking stupid. Alright, I'll go on a date with you. But only if you do a favor for me." Raven tilted her head. "I don't know yet, but you owe me a favor." Raven smiled and Johnny got this feeling, though faint, in his chest. He didn't know what it was. He felt the urge to smile with her, though he didn't know why.

Raven stood, needing to get back to work. "Can…can I give you a…hug?"

"No." Johnny said. "I don't touch people."

"Oh…ok. Well…what time would the movies work for you?"

"Anytime. I'll pick you up." He said as he headed for the door.

Raven blinked. "When?"

"Whenever. Be ready."

Chapter 6

Johnny flung the door to his house open exuberantly.

**You seem happy.**

He smiled at Mr. Eff. "Yes, actually, I am!"

**You got a date with that girl, didn't you?**

"Yes. But that's not why I'm happy."

_Denial._

"Absolutely not!" Johnny sneered. "I'm happy because she let me explain the situation to her. That's all."

Then why'd you ask her out?

**Yeah?**

Johnny glowered at Nail Bunny. "I didn't. SHE asked ME."

_Then why'd you accept?_

"Shut the fuck up. I'm happy, for once, and I'd rather keep it that way." He glowered, hanging his coat on the random nail in the wall.

_How long will it last?_

"ACK! No, not this again! I already said I'd rather be happy NOW! Fuck what comes next. When I get there, then I'll deal with it. I just want to be happy NOW."

**Yeah! Leave him alone, D-Boy!**

_Shut the hell up, Mr. Fuck! I know what I'm doing!_

**And I know what I'M doing!**

*sighs* I don't think Nny is in the mood. Just let him be, you horrid statues!

**Aw, come off it, rodent! Like before, this is OUR conversation! You can't join in unless we invite you!**

_Which we won't! Heh._

Johnny blinked, and left to leave the statues and dead bunny to their argument.

Raven opened her door and walked in her house. It was nice to be home after spending over a day away from it. Sighing, she flopped on her couch and dozed off.

She awoke the next morning refreshed as ever. It was Saturday, her day off. She fumbled through the cabinets and found her Count Chocula cereal and poured it and milk into a bowl and ate it. Without warning, there was a knock at her door. Raven checked through the peep hole and opened the door.

"Hey, Allan." She smiled. "What's up?"

"Did Kathy say she was going somewhere last night?"

"N-no…why?"

He shifted. "She didn't come home last night."

"No…she walked me home, which was the last I saw her."

He nodded. "Ok. Thanks…" He turned and left with a blank expression on his face. She shut the door, and immediately there was another knock. She opened it to find the tall man she'd seen the day prior.

"Ready?"

Raven was taken slightly aback. "Well, this was soon. Sure, just give me a second. Come in." He stepped inside and looked around her house; white walls, simple décor, movie boxes and DVD cases thrown about. "I'll be just a second. I gotta change."

She was in the room for all of ten seconds, and when she came out, she noticed that the cereal box was torn to shreds and cereal was strewn about the table and kitchen floor. Johnny stood there with a shocked and embarrassed face. "He provoked me." He said, pointing to the Count Chocula box. Raven couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

"Ah, Johnny, that's so cute!"

"Call me Nny, please."

"Oh, ok. Nny, that's so cute!" He smiled proudly. "Are you ready?" He nodded, and they made their way to the theatre.

* * *

**_AN -AAAAWWWWWWWWW! Nny's got a date! (lucky Raven...grumble grumble...) XD_**

**_~UxieS._**


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN- *snore*_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

* * *

Chapter 7

The two sat in the darkening theatre and waited for the movie to begin. Raven sat with a large bag of popcorn and Johnny sat beside her with two medium sodas. They sat in silence, not knowing really what to talk about. They averted each other's gazes as they shifted uncomfortably in the cushiony seats. "Uh…popcorn?" Raven offered. Johnny reached in the bag and pulled a few out.

"Thank you. Here's your soda…" She gripped the cup and set it in the cup holder.

"Thanks. And, um…thanks for coming to the movies with me."

Johnny tilted his head. "No problem. I usually go by myself."

"No friends?" Johnny peered over at her with a sadistic smile.

"I kill all my friends."

"Oh…" He laughed.

"Don't worry. I won't kill you. I already said I wouldn't. And besides, you're my bestest friend currently. Why would I want to take that away?" Raven shrugged.

The movie had started and they sat in silence as it played through. They shared popcorn until it was gone, only the salty residue coated the bottom of the bag. Raven finished her soda sooner than she'd expected, so Johnny offered to go get her a Fizz-Wizz after the movie, which she greatly accepted. Raven, somewhere during the middle of the movie, absentmindedly let her hand fall on Johnny's. He picked up her hand with his thumb and index finger and placed it back on her lap. She smiled.

After the movie, they filed out of the theatre and began walking outside to a nearby gas station. They talked about nothing in particular. Mainly goals, life issues, Happy Noodle Boy, the head-voices, the 'thing' behind the wall, and whatever else they could think about. Johnny was twenty-six, Raven was twenty-two. Raven talked about how she wanted to go to school for vocal music but was unable to due to her odd work schedule, so she was paying loans she never actually got to use in the first place. Johnny had once gone to school for a year for art, but he quit when he moved into the house with the 'thing.'

They reached the gas station and entered. It was cooler than outside, but they didn't mind. Raven walked over to the Fizz-Wizz machine and took out a grape Fizz-Wizz. Johnny took out a cherry and bought both of them, which equaled five dollars even. "Thank you, Nny." He smiled.

"You're welcome. Think of this as a 'thank you' for paying for my movie ticket." Raven blushed a little at his crooked smirk.

"Sorry about trying to kill you a few days ago. I was just in desperate need."

Raven glanced over and up at him. "Desperate need of what?"

"Blood, for the wall."

"Oh…"

"Yes. That damn wall as controlled my life for many years. I hate it. You know, you're really short." He said, poking the top of her head.

"Well, maybe you're just tall."

"Hmm, good point." He chuckled. Raven checked her watch. It was 3:30 pm. She didn't even realize they were out that long.

"Hey, I gotta get home. I have to clean up the cereal mess."

"Oh. Sorry about that, heh." Raven smiled. "I'll walk you home."

"So…how are you?"

Johnny shrugged. "My shoulder hurts. But other than that, I'm fine. You?"

"Oh…sorry about that, Nny…" She lowered her head. "I'm doing alright…"

"Hey, we're here." He said. They walked up to the door and Raven slid the key in the lock.

"Thank you, Nny." She smiled. He nodded and turned away and began walking to his house.

Johnny opened his door and slammed it shut. Sighing, he walked into his bathroom and removed his clothing, turned on the shower, and stepped in. He took a deep breath and sighed, allowing the water to flow down his body. He closed his eyes and leaned against the icy cold tile walls of his shower.

**Nny! How'd it go?**

"Do you MIND? I'm taking a shower!" He called.

**Heh, fine. But tell us when you get out.**

Johnny grumbled and ran his fingers through his hair. He scrubbed shampoo throughout his hair, rinsed it, washed his body, and got out. He stepped out of the bathroom with the towel around his waist and he headed for the Styrofoam people. "What did you want to know?"

**I wanted to know how it went. **

"You should already know. You're my voices, remember?

_Ah, true. But we still enjoy talking about it. Ihh, that's a nasty scar you're gonna have._

Johnny looked at his shoulder. It was healing, but it would be a scar when it finally did heal completely. "Yeah."

So it went well?

"What? The date? It went fine."

**You should have killed her.**

Johnny went wide-eyed. "Why?"

**That's what you do, Nny. You must immortalize the happy feeling before it goes away. Heh, isn't that what you did with the others?**

"That was different, Mr. Eff. I see me in Raven. I'm not going to kill myself."

Leave him alone, Doughboys! 

_Shut up, rabbit! Can't you see that we're trying to talk sense into our boy's mind?_

No! Stop poisoning his mind!

Johnny glowered. He was sick of them arguing. He might have to separate them.

**OH! Johnny! You know what would take your mind off of us?**

"Hmm?"

**Killing some hostages!**

"Eh, I'm not in the mood to kill anyone right now, Mr. Eff."

**Then just torture them. Maybe that stupid ginger you kidnapped.**

Johnny smirked. That wasn't a bad idea. He went into his room to get dressed in his striped shirt and black pants with his boots, like always, and headed downstairs into one of his various torture rooms.

She pulled at her restraints, but she didn't budge. There were straps around her arms, legs, and waist that were ready at a moment's notice to rip her into little pieces. Her eyes were red from the crying. Johnny walked in and stood before her.

"Comfortable?" He asked. The woman pulled again at the restraints.

"NO!"

He smiled. "Good. Now, I'd really like to know how you think you KNOW me so well."

"W-what?"

"YOU! You should REMEMBER! I was walking that night…and you…YOU had the audacity to attack me! REMEMBER THAT?"

She glared at him. "You deserved it!"

"Yes, but that means you deserve this." He started the motor which slowly began spreading the straps further apart, stretching her body.

"OK! OK, OK! I'm sorry! I'M VERY SORRY!" The motor stopped.

Johnny squinted. "No you're not." He glowered and walked back upstairs, leaving her in an obscure and uncomfortable position.

* * *

**_AN- NOT that it makes a difference, but the machine that the red-head is attached to is the same that Edgar Vargas is attached to in the book...fyi_**

**_~UxieS._**


	8. Chapter 8

**_AN- AHA! The ending of this one was SO fun to write! XD I hope you like this'un! Sorry for the ample amounts of dialogue!_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

* * *

Chapter 8

Raven awoke the next day and headed off for work. She took in a deep breath of the cool autumn air as she walked down the sidewalk. She was shocked to see that her coworkers were standing outside the café. She tilted her head. "What's going on?"

"Kathy hasn't come and Addison is out of town, so we can't get in." Her other coworker responded. Raven squinted. That was odd. Kathy never missed two days in a row, especially if Addison, the manager, went out of town.

"Huh. I guess this means that we get a day off. Have you tried calling her?"

"She hasn't answered!" Raven scratched her head.

"I guess this is an off day then. Go home." So they did. Well, everyone except Raven, who decided to go to the nearby gas station to pick up a Brainfreezy. She walked in to the cool establishment and headed to get a cherry Freezy. "Heh, yum!" She smiled happily as the slushy went into the cup. She applied the lid and with a happy squee face, she got in line behind the first customer.

"That it?" The cashier asked.

"Yep!" He said.

Raven peered over at him. "Nny?" He turned to her.

"Oh! Hi there! How goes it?"

She smiled. "Well. You?"

"I'm alright. Just getting a Frooty Pop. Shouldn't you be working?"

"The assistant manager didn't come and we can't get in, so, no."

"Hmm, do you want to maybe come over? I can introduce you to Mr. Eff and D-Boy. And Nail Bunny." Raven smiled. Nny handed the cashier the money.

"Sure." She gave the cashier her money and walked out with Nny. "Do you not work?"

"Nope. Well, I do. I write Happy Noodle Boy and I sell those. That's pretty much it." He lapped at his Popsicle and Raven sucked at her Freezy. She looked down at his black steel-esque boots.

"I like your boots."

"Thank you. I got them at Cold Topic." She smiled. They reached his house, labeled 777, and walked in. It was dark, having only one lamp in the corner, and it smelled of dust. "Excuse the mess. I didn't anticipate guests. Heh, guests." He beamed. Well, here's my 'friends,' Psycho-Doughboy, Mr. Eff, and Nail Bunny." Raven tilted her head.

"Is…is that a _real_ bunny?" Johnny nodded.

"But I'm insane, so it's ok."

_Ah! Johnny, she's pretty! No, not pretty, she's SEXY!_

"Shut up, D-Boy!" He snapped.

"What did he say?"

"He said you were sexy…" Raven blushed a little bit, staring at the oddly painted Styrofoam figurines. "That's saying something. He's such a fucking downer."

Nny, do you like her?

Johnny turned to Nail Bunny. "What? Don't be ridiculous!"

I can tell, Nny.

"No you can't." He glowered.

"Hmm?"

"Nail Bunny thinks I like you." He saw her expression after that. "No, I mean I like you! Just I don't think you're attractive. NO! That's not what I meant! I mean…"

**Heh, yeah, keep talking, you shit.**

"You're not helping!" He jabbed a finger at Mr. Eff. "Ok! I like you, and you're very pretty, BUT I don't see us in a relationship. AH! There we go!"

"You...don't?" Johnny blinked. Damn, this girl would be the death of him! He rubbed his head, trying to get his words straight. "It's ok, you don't have to. It's just…"

Johnny squinted. "What? I'm insane. I don't think it'd work out."

"I like you…a lot…" She looked up sheepishly at him, her onyx eyes meeting his onyx eyes. Johnny blushed a little and chuckled. "What?" She creased her brow.

"Nothing. You're funny." She smirked.

"Really now?"

"Mmhmm. Hey, are you hungry? I can make us some sandwiches." Raven nodded. "Ok, just sit on the couch. I'll be out in a moment." He went into the kitchen as she sat on the tattered couch.

She noticed a closed door. "Hey, Nny. What's in this door?"

"Don't go down there!" He called from the kitchen. This peaked her interest. She silently stood and opened the door. There were stairs and she began walking down them into the darkness. She was just going to take a peek. She'd be up before he was done with the sandwiches. In the cellar, she flicked on the light switch and was appalled. Knives, swords, sickles, you name it. They were all in cases hung up on the wall. There were at least one hundred of them. She walked around and looked at each one. Some had blood on them, others did not. But they were all equally terrifying. She spotted another door, and opened it to another staircase. She walked down those and stumbled upon something horrendous. There were people restrained to the walls. Thirty, forty, fifty. They all begged her to let them go. She wanted to, but she couldn't. She didn't have a key or anything to pry the locks open.

"I-I can't…I'm sorry…I would…but I can't." Tears pricked at her eyes. She backed up, finally, but she bumped into something familiar. "Didn't I say not to come down here?" Johnny spoke deeply with a raspy voice.

Raven spun around to see him. His eyes were dark and expressionless. Strands of his hair fell in his face as he took steps closer to her. "Up there, I can save you. But down here," Raven backed into a wall and Johnny stood a few inches away from her, "I can't even protect you from myself."

"H-how many people have you killed, Nny?"

"Hundreds, if not, thousands." He smiled cynically. "Down here, I get these urges. These urges are very strong. Sometimes, they're overwhelming." He reached over and took a shiny chrome knife from his pocket and held it to her throat. "Sometimes, they make me want to kill people." He closed his eyes, pressing the cold steel against her throat. She swallowed hard, trying not to move so as to not accidentally slit herself. Johnny leaned in, eyes still closed. "Makes me want to use their blood to paint that wall…" His lips were must centimeters away from hers. His breath tickled her lips and she felt a blush creep across her face. His lips were so close…almost there… "But I won't!" He spoke cheerfully and loudly, making Raven jump a bit. He'd pulled his lips and the knife away from her. "Now, let's go enjoy some sandwiches!" He smiled and walked up the stairs.

Raven could have sworn that she had a heart attack.

* * *

**_AN- Huh? HUH? WHAT DO YA THINK! TELL MEEEEEE_**

**_~UxieS._**


	9. Chapter 9

**_AN- This one was fun to write too! XD Hmm, I hope you like it..._**

**_To IAmLove, I hope it's not getting too cheezy for you...O.O I hope...I'm trying my hardest to stay in Nny's character...so hard thoug, I'm not a deranged serial killer...yknow? hehe_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

* * *

Chapter 9

They sat on the couch eating their sandwiches. 'Damn,' Raven thought, 'he can make an amazing sandwich.' They sat mainly in silence.

"OH!" Johnny exclaimed, making Raven jump a little. "I still have your phone, don't I? Here, I'll go get it." She waited patiently for him to return. She peeked at the Doughboys. They were freakish to her, the odd paint jobs and such. And Nail Bunny freaked her out simply because it was a real dead bunny. "OK! Here it is!" He said, sitting next to her. "One thing I noticed…all of your emergency call numbers, speed dials, and one in your contacts are 9-1-1. Why?" Raven took the phone back.

"Because I get paranoid when I walk home at night. If there's no one with me, I won't go outside. HEY! You looked through my phone?"

"Eh, why not?"

"In case I get texts from a guy or something."

"Like a boyfriend?"

"Yes!"

"I thought _I_ was your boyfriend." Raven looked at him, who had a smirk and raised one of his eyebrows.

She blinked and blushed, stuttering on her words. "D-do you want to be?"

Johnny rested his elbows on his knees and placed his chin in his hands. "Only if you do. I don't want to force you into anything." Raven grew a brighter red as she shifted on the couch. Johnny looked at her and waited for her response.

"Well…" They heard a beeping noise. Raven looked at her phone, which had died. "Aw, crap!"

"S-sorry."

"That's ok. It's my fault, really."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't charge it before I left for work a few days ago." Johnny nodded. "What time is it?"

Johnny looked at the clock. "6 pm. Do you need to go home?" Raven nodded. Johnny frowned. She stood and walked to the door and opened it…then realized it was dark. "Do you need me to come with you?" Raven nodded. He smiled and went with her.

They walked and talked and kicked random objects as they went back to Raven's little house. "So," Johnny said, "you never replied. Do you or do you not want me to be your boyfriend?" Raven gasped. He was still on this? Eh, better tell him now.

"Yes." She said, averting her gaze. Johnny smiled as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Me too." Raven caught herself smile a bit too. Even though this man almost murdered her a few days ago, she couldn't get over the fact that he was so charming in his own freakish way. She did really like him. And the worst part of it was that…she wanted to kiss him. She'd wanted to kiss him in the café when they had their fumble. And she even wanted to kiss him when he had the blade against her throat. But right now, she just wanted to hold his hand. But he wouldn't let her. Oh well, perhaps she'd try some other time.

"Oh, Nny?"

"Hmm?"

"You…when you had me all tied up and ready to die," Johnny cringed slightly, "you said you wrote a poem about me?"

"Oh, yes! I actually have it here in my pocket, for some…odd…reason." He dug through his coat pocket and handed Raven a little folded sheet of paper. "Don't be offended, this was when I wanted to kill you." Raven read it.

"Can I keep this?" Johnny nodded. They reached her house as she stuck the paper into her own pocket. Johnny walked her all the way to her door. "Thank you." She smiled. He smiled as well. When was the last time he'd felt like this? He didn't know. He inhaled and, for some reason he couldn't quite comprehend, placed his hands on her hips and leaned in. Raven's heart began pounding furiously in her chest. She closed her eyes and waited for contact. Nny's lips barely touched hers. It felt more like a breath when he pulled away and walked briskly to his house. Raven watched as he walked away, not taking a glance back at her. She leaned against the door and smiled. It wasn't _really_ a kiss, but it was enough to make her feel happy.

Johnny came into his own house rather loudly. He tossed his coat on the couch and immediately went into his bathroom and gaped in the broken mirror. He gazed at his tan skin and disheveled hair and his somber-black eyes. He choked back a sob and touched the mirror's glass, ashamed that he was unable to smile. He wanted to smile. But something would not allow him to do so.

**Nny, why are you upset?**

Johnny stepped out of the bathroom and went into his room to lie on the bed he rarely used and began scribbling in his diary. "I don't want to talk about it."

_**Dear Die-Ary,**_

_**It's not supposed to be this way. I'm not supposed to be this way. Or feel this way. Why is it so easy to be caught up in the emotions I swore to bury a long time ago? It's…not supposed to be like this; not supposed to end this way. Will it end this way? If she knows what I've done…**_

Nny, what's going on?

Johnny came out with a face full of tears. "Nothing, Nail Bunny!"

Then why are you crying?

"I don't know! You're my voices! YOU tell ME!" He snapped.

_If you're so depressed, then why don't you just…_

"SHUT! UP!" Johnny screamed, picking up the Styrofoam man. "I'm fucking sick of you telling me that I need to kill myself, you piece of manufactured shit!"

_I'm just saying that…_

"FUCK YOU!" He threw him across the room.

**There you go, Nny! But really, tell me why you're upset.**

"This isn't supposed to be!"

**This Raven girl?**

"Yes! Exactly!"

**Why is it so terrible you need to cry?**

"If…if she KNEW what I did…what happened…AND besides, I could snap and kill her any time I wanted! And I'd never be able to take that back! I'm criminally INSANE! She's not safe!"

So…you _do_ care for her.

Johnny glowered. "I didn't say that."

You don't HAVE to. I can tell.

"You certainly can 'tell' a lot, can't you? And so what? I'm allowed to care for someone!"

**Do you **_**love**_** her?**

"That's preposterous! Only fools succumb to that emotion!" Johnny squinted.

_DENIAL!_

"Shut up before I step on your fucking face and make you the mascot for flatbread! No…it's just…I don't think that…if I ever did something to hurt her, I don't think I could live with myself." He admitted. The inanimate object didn't respond, and so Johnny curled up on his couch and stared straight ahead. "She's the first person I _won't_ kill."

"Kathy, call me back. It's Raven." Raven closed her purple phone and shoved it in her pocket after it finished charging. She sat on her couch and turned on the TV. The only things on were infomercials, so she shut it off and sighed. "Where the hell are you, Kathy?"

* * *

**_AN- HUH? Whatcha thiiiiiiiiiiiink?_**

**_~UxieS._**


	10. Chapter 10

**_AN- Hmmm...this one didn't take as long to write as the others...hehe...it was awesome! XD_**

**_ENJOY!  
IAmLove...hehe...I like cheese...cheese = yumminess. Yumminess = yay! (ANYWHO...)_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

* * *

Chapter 10

It snowed the following week. It was nearing Christmas, and so every one of the Santa look-alikes were dispersed about the streets. Johnny and Raven walked down the slushy sidewalk, their foggy breaths preceding them every time they breathed. Raven had cut her hair slightly shorter than it had been, from her shoulders to just about an inch above her shoulders. Johnny liked it. He, even though he never did, wanted to run his fingers through it and just admire it. Raven constantly complained about how the hair dresser cut it too short. They'd been spending a lot of time around each other lately, and even though they didn't make any physical contact whatsoever, Raven felt more connected to him than she'd ever before. She'd have conversations with the voices in Nny's head, and they'd respond, their language often being filtered by Johnny, who did not want to terrify the girl in any way. She found Nail Bunny adorable, but she didn't enjoy the company of the Doughboys; she never admitted that though.

They walked past a Salvation Santa, and Raven stopped in front of him and dug through her pockets. "What are you doing?" Johnny asked and tilted his head to the side.

"Donating." She replied, tossing in a dollar and some quarters. "You didn't know that that's what these are for?"

"I don't go out much on the holidays." Raven joined her companion and continued their walk. Companion? That was quite a large leap for Johnny. He'd spent most, if not all, of his life without a companion and it was a lot to take in, but he enjoyed it none the less. "So, I was wondering…"

"Yes, Nny?"

"Well, there's this kid who lives next to me, and, well he's kind of a neglected kid. I was wondering if you could…I don't know; help me find a gift for him…for Christmas?"

Raven grinned. "Of course! How old?"

"He's about eight or nine. Maybe six…I don't really know…" Raven nodded. Johnny trembled a little bit.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, just cold." Nny responded. Raven walked faster and stood in front of and faced him with a devilish twinkle in her eyes. "Y-yes?"

"Well, would you like me to warm you up?" She smirked a half crooked smile. Johnny blinked.

"N-no…that's ok…"

Raven pouted. "Why not?"

"Well…maybe with gloves, I _might_."

"Why do you need gloves?"

"So as to not touch the impurities of the world." He said looking down. He could tell this hurt her, but she didn't say anything. She just silently joined his side again with no contact. But it was true. He never touched bare skin with bare skin unless absolutely necessary. He looked down upon her as she stared absentmindedly in front of her.

They walked past an alley with a group of four teenagers who were obviously smoking an illegal drug of some nature. "Hey buddy! Got a light?" One in a tattered hoodie and a baseball cap turned backward asked. Johnny shook his head.

"No, I don't smoke."

"You, Lady?"

"No," she replied, "sorry." They began walking away.

"Hey! Didja see that chick?"

"Yeah! She got a nice set on her…I'd do her in a heartbeat!" Another replied. "Heh, I wonder if she'd take it in…" the rest were mumbles that they couldn't hear, but Johnny glowered over his shoulder and reached into his pocket to pull out a shiny piece of metal.

Raven gripped his coat sleeve. "Nny, don't. They're just kids."

"That's no excuse! Talking about a woman like that…it's just fucking sickening!" He turned his gaze towards her and pierced deep in her obsidian eyes. "Go home."

"Nny, what are you…"

"Go. Home."

"W-why? Nny, no, not today. Not now, it's almost Christmas!"

He glowered again. "Home. Now." Raven looked at him with saddened eyes, but obeyed. She turned and proceeded home. Johnny, on the other hand, turned to the group of kids. "Excuse me." He called as he made his way in their direction.

The one with the cap turned to him. "What do ya want, buddy?"

"Hey," the other one said, "do ya think we could have a ride on yo' girl?" The rest laughed, but Johnny did not.

"Um…hey, what with the knife, budy?"

Johnny sneered. "Knife? _Knife_, as in singular? No, my friend, you're fucking wrong!" He reached into his other coat pocket and brought out an identical match to the first one.

They backed away. "D-damn," a third one chimed in, "what are ya gonna do with those, yo'?"

Johnny's eyes got wide with a psychotic gleeful grin. "I'm gonna teach you some lessons, yo'." Then without warning, he jabbed one blade into the skull of the first kid with the cap, spraying blood and skull pieces about the alley wall. "FIRST! It's stupid to smoke pot as a teenager! You need as many brain cells that can fit in your tiny heads! SECOND!" He used the second knife and sliced the fourth kid's stomach and chest with one perfectly executed arch, tearing the heart and pooling blood beneath his feet and the feet of the other two. "This is CHRISTMAS time! Be with your family, you dumb fucks!" The other two began fleeing, but Johnny threw his knives and they stuck in the backs of their legs, making them fall. "THIRD!" He screamed as he removed the blades from the legs. "Learn proper English, _fools_! 'Yo'' is NOT a word, SHIT!" He said and slit the second kid's throat. He hovered over the second kid, the one who talked about Raven. "And fourth," he knelt down to meet him face to face, "you should never, under any circumstances, EVER speak about a woman in that manner. Especially _my_ woman." He raised the knives above his head and smiled. "Merry fucking Christmas, you fucking elf!" With hose last words, he drove the knives simultaneously through the kid's chest and…nether regions."

Johnny stood and admired his work, and began to walk home with a happy smile on his blood coated face.

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**_AN- Ahhhh...very festive. Santa, snow, Christmas, brutally murdering a group of potheads...yes, that is the good life!_**

**_~UxieS._**


	11. Chapter 11

**_AN- YAY! Longest chapter thus far! ^_^ Definitely gets me into da Christmas mood...*sigh*_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

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Chapter 11

"Alright, Nny." Raven cheered. "What kind of kid is he?"

Johnny thought a moment as the two walked through the toy store. "Well, he's puny, he squeaks, and he's scared of everything." Raven glanced over.

"No, really. What kind of kid is he?"

"No, really. I'm serious." Raven looked around.

"Ok, so nothing too big, nothing that squeaks, and nothing scary. Damn, that's just about everything."

"I know. That's why I need help." They poked at a few toys, mainly plushies. "How about a stuffed pig?" Johnny picked up a small fluffy pink pig. "No, wait. He already has Shmee. That won't work." He set the pig down and continued looking around.

Raven scratched her head. This process was going to be harder than she thought it'd be. She knew what they needed…she just didn't know what form it would come in. "We need something that shows that we—you—care. What does Squee like to do?"

"You know…I don't really know."

"Christmas is tomorrow, Nny. We can't wait forever." He gave her the I-fucking-know-that-you-dib-shit glare. "Well, I mean really. He's about eight or nine or six! It shouldn't be that hard!"

Johnny looked ahead and smiled. "I found it."

"Found what?"

"IT! THIS! I want to get him THIS!" He walked forward to the shelf and picked up a remote control boat. "I'm sure of it!"

Raven gasped. "Johnny, look at the price! Geez!" They both gazed at the price tag. The boat cost $77.99.

"Well yeah. It's a remote control boat. Of course it's gonna be fucking expensive." Raven crossed her arms.

"Fine. It's your money, I suppose." She smiled and the two went up to pay.

After the toy store, they walked briskly to Johnny's house. Johnny, who'd never really had Christmas in the last fifteen years, was unable to wrap the boat due to no experience. Raven had to do that. Raven glanced up at the clock, which read 1:30 am. It was Christmas. Johnny smiled. He couldn't wait to see Squeegee's face when he received the gift. "Ok," he grinned, "let's go."

They crept across the lawn of Squee's house and Johnny peeked in the window to Squee's room. He was fast asleep, snuggling close to his demonic-looking teddy bear, Shmee. Raven tilted her head. "Um, how are we going to get in?" Johnny slowly and quietly opened Squee's window.

"Like this."

"BUT! Oops…but that's creepy."

"Better than the locked front door." He climbed in and grabbed the present from Raven. He saw that the boy had a small drawing of a Christmas tree hung on his wall, so he placed the beautifully wrapped red-and-green present underneath the drawing. Squee stirred, but did not wake and snuggled closer to Shmee. Johnny smiled and climbed out of the window. "Merry Christmas, Squeegee." He whispered and silently closed the window.

Raven smiled when she saw Johnny's beaming face. "Whose name did you put on the tag? Yours?"

"No, Santa's. I think it'd be a bit strange to have 'the creepy neighbor man's' name on a Christmas gift that randomly popped up in your room. I'm not _that_ freakish." Raven giggled. "You know, you have a…well…huh, that's a really odd thought."

"What?"

"I was going to say that you had a really cute laugh, but then I realized that…that's strange for me…really fucking strange…" Raven nodded.

"Well," she said, "I like your laugh, too. Not the creepy serial killer laugh. I like Johnny's laugh. The laugh you do when you see something funny or something you like. I don't like the laughs when you kill people. It's a little…scary." She got quieter and stared at the barely coated sidewalk. Johnny gave her a confused yet sad look. He…he scared her? He had no idea… "Why do you kill people, Nny? I mean, other than the wall, why?"

Johnny scratched the back of his head. "Well…it's a long story that dates back to when my parents died. But…let's not get into _that_." They walked back into Johnny's house. He flipped the light on and proceeded to the bathroom. "Is it alright if I take a quick shower?" Raven nodded and sat on the couch, removing her jacket and shoes. Johnny smiled coldly and closed the bathroom door. Raven heard the water running, and she knew it was safe to go into the room with the people. She walked down into the basement and went into the room. They all looked at her and pleaded that she let them go.

"I…I can't right now." She stuttered. "But I will…I just have to get Nny to give me the keys to your locks…and…"

"Excuse me?" One woman cried out. "What makes you think that little bastard will give you the keys?"

"I don't know…I'll try though."

"Hey. You haven't been in that room, have you?"

There was one door at the far end of the room. "N-no. What's in there?"

"I don't know! I was wondering if you did, you fuckin' idiot!" Raven glowered. Well she knew why _that_ woman was here. But that statement peaked her interest. She stepped slowly towards the door and gripped the cold doorknob. It turned and popped open a hair. But then something forced it closed. Raven looked up and saw two black eyes peering sternly down at her.

Johnny asked in a low whisper, "What are you doing?" Raven released the doorknob and backed up slightly. Johnny still held his hand on the door as if it would fly open on its own.

"I was…just looking." He stepped towards her with a murderous glare and made soul-shattering eye contact.

"Curiosity," he flicked out a silvery blade, "killed the cat." Raven's eyes never left the point of the blade. Her heart raced faster as she remembered his words, 'Down here, I get these urges. Sometimes, they make me want to kill people. Up there I can save you, but down here, I can't even protect you from myself.' He pointed the blade at the staircase. "Go." Raven obeyed. He followed soundlessly behind.

Johnny appeared last from the stairs and he shut the door loudly. "AH SHIT!" He shouted. "Phew, I'm SO fucking glad I didn't kill you! Don't go down there! I said that before, did I not?"

"Well…"

"I did! Please don't do that again! Those urges…they get stronger every time I see you down there…I don't want to hurt you."

**Yes you do.**

Johnny turned to Mr. Eff. "Can't you see this is OUR conversation?"

**HA! You fool! You can't resist anymore. Each time she goes down there, that urge gets stronger. Eventually, you'll have no choice but to slit her throat!**

"No! NO! That's not true!" Johnny screamed, covering his ears again and squeezing his eyes shut. Raven rolled her eyes and walked over to the Doughboys. She picked them up and opened the basement door and tossed them down the steps and slammed the door shut. Johnny poked one eye open. "What did you do?"

"I put them away. Now, have a conversation with _me_ for once, damn it! I'm tired of having to please Mr. Eff and D-Boy! I want to talk to _you_."

Johnny was confused. "Me? About what?"

Raven flopped on the couch. "Anything. Tell me about yourself. More than what I already know."

"Like what?"

"ANYTHING! Pick something! Ok, no, I lied. Tell me what's in that room that you don't want me to see?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely not!" Raven furrowed her brow. ""It's something I can't show you, even IF I wanted to." Raven sat in a leisurely manner while resting her chin on her hand.

"Is it the 'thing'?" Johnny shook his head. "What is it?" Johnny shrugged. The two shivered at a sudden blast of cold air coming from the broken window. Outside had begun blizzarding rather quickly. "Oh crap…"

"Need me to drive you home?" Johnny asked. Raven nodded. As Johnny went to start the car, she put her coat and shoes back on. Johnny walked back in with a somber expression. "It won't start. Well, you can sleep here tonight!"

Raven blinked as she watched Johnny lock the basement door. "H-here? With y-you?"

"Yes. Is that ok?" He looked over his shoulder. "You'll sleep in my bed."

"With you?"

"No. I don't sleep. I abhor sleeping, but let's not get into _that_. You can sleep there tonight. I'll stay out here."

"You don't sleep?"

"Nope. I just go and go and go until I finally run out of energy and pass out. But waking up is horrible because I lose track of the real reality and it takes a minute or five minutes until I can regain my mind again." Raven figuratively scratched her head. "But anyways, do you need pajamas? You can sleep in one of my shirts and…um…some…well; all I really have are jeans or corduroys. I have boxers, but I don't think you'd…"

"Boxers are fine!" She said almost insistently. Johnny blinked at her urgency, nodded and went to get her some clothes. She followed. He handed her the "777, # of the Moose" shirt and plain black boxers. He smiled as he stepped out of the room.

"I'll just leave you. Sleep tight, Macbeth." Raven smiled and took off her clothes and replaced them with his. The shirt was incredibly soft and she curled up in his rarely ever used bed, which was soft and warm. She couldn't tell the design on the sheets or comforter, but she loved it. She loved everything about it…even its owner.

* * *

**_AN- AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW *sarcastic tone* *snickers*_**

**_What didja thiiiiiiiink?_**

**_~UxieS._**


	12. Chapter 12

**_AN- ALSO a long one, but not as long as the other one...ANYWHO...YES! I was debating on how to do this, cuz this scene (more or less the scene at the end) was in my mind for forever! It was difficult, but I finally did it! YAY! (insert dancing like an idiot here)_**

**_IAmLove, Thankies! XD But please don't die. This is a reader-non-die zone...^_^_**

**_Xviera Siramad, JUST TO WARN YOU! The beginning of the chapter isn't what it appears to be, so...yeah! *sob* Thanks! XD_**

_**~UxieSweetie**  
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Chapter 12

Raven's eyes opened when she felt something glide along her cheek. She gazed groggily at Johnny, who looked down at her with a sweet smile. She propped herself up on one elbow. "H-hi?"

"You're so cute when you sleep." He chuckled. Raven blushed. "Are you warm enough?" She nodded. "Good." He weaseled his way under the blanket with her. "You know," he said with a deep breathy, lustful tone, "you're so beautiful."

"T-thank you." Ashe grinned. "You are too. Well…you're handsome." Johnny smiled.

"May I…" he took in a deep breath. "May I kiss you?" Raven blushed deeply and nodded shyly. Johnny leaned in and pressed his lips against hers softly. Her heart, she swore, nearly jumped out of her chest. She leaned in and deepened the kiss. Nny smiled. "I love you…so much." He whispered almost desperately.

Raven took his ice cold hand. "I love you too, Nny." Johnny kissed her neck and nipped a bit at the skin, causing her to gasp lightly. "Nny…" she hummed. He took that as an invitation and hovered over her, placing both hands on either end of the pillow with a devilish grin. She smirked and leaned up to kiss him as he slipped a hand underneath the "777, # of the Moose" shirt she wore. Raven took a breath in and smiled happily.

Then she woke up. She looked around the room, the sunlight tickling the white walls. Johnny wasn't there next to her. "Fuck!" She swore under her breath. She'd been dreaming, to her disappointment. Taking a deep breath, she stood from the bed and walked into the living room. Johnny wasn't on the couch either. "Nny?"

"Yes?" His voice rang from the kitchen, so Raven went to check. "Good morning!" He smiled as he hovered over the stove. Raven just stared. His hair was wet and the only article of clothing he wore was his usual black pants. She bit her lip and thanked God himself for this Christmas gift. Nny's body wasn't muscular much, but he was tall and thin. She could see his ribcage slightly, but he wasn't malnourished by any means. She also noticed his left shoulder. The scar still had the home-applied stitching, but it was healed fully.

"S-sorry about your shoulder." He looked at it and ran a few fingers over the stitching.

"It's alright. I actually gotta remove this thread. That can't be too healthy." Raven smiled and reached for the scar, but hesitated and waited for Nny's approval. He also hesitated, but nodded, and she stroked the scar. It was an odd feel, the skin and thread together, but at the same time she loved it. It was almost like art to her. He backed away after a moment, placing his hand over the stitch. "Um…I made pancakes. Well…I attempted to." Raven peeked over at the badly burned circles and giggled. "Hey, I said I tried!" Raven smiled.

"I believe you." Johnny smiled. "So, Merry Christmas, Nny."

"OH! I forgot something! Stay right here! RIGHT here!" He said as he walked out of the kitchen. "NO MOVING!" He called. In moments, he came back with a rather small yet long box. She tilted her head to the side. "OK! Well…I got you a Christmas present…um, I hope it's not too awkward. But I saw it and I immediately thought of you! Here…" He handed her the box. She opened it and gasped.

"Oh! This…this is beautiful, Nny!" She smiled and pulled a diamond necklace from the box. There was a diamond heart in the middle with two diamond and silver knives on either side.

"Well actually, it came with three hearts, but I had a jeweler fix the knives from two of the knives to add a bit of me to it. Do you like it?" Raven nodded, still stunned. Johnny took the necklace from her and walked behind her to attach it around her neck. It sort of blended in to her shin like a snowflake on an aspen tree. He gulped and backed away. "It suits you."

"I'm sorry, Nny. I didn't get one for you…"

"That's ok. Just being here with me is good enou…um…alright, then! I think my car will work this morning! Let's get you home!" He said and raced to get his boots. Raven blushed.

"Wait…can I…can I see one thing?"

Johnny looked over at her. "What?"

"The door…can I…"

"NO! It's not for your eyes."

"Can I at least see one room down there?" Johnny thought a moment and nodded.

"I'll leave all the weapons up here…I'll be less inclined to kill you." Raven smiled slightly. Johnny led her down into the abyss and took her into one of his favorite torture rooms. "Why did you even want to come down here?" Raven shrugged and they walked into a room that had a table with restraints.

Raven scratched her head. "How does this work?" Johnny smiled.

"I'll show you! See, one lays in it like this," he got on the table and laid in it, putting his hands in the locks, "and you close the thingies and they automatically lock…go ahead." Raven closed the locks on his wrists, leaving him in a T like position. "Yeah! Like that! Now…um, my keys are in my pocket. Could you grab them please and unlock me?" Raven went to reach for his pocket, but then stopped. She had this odd thought suddenly. She smirked a bit and climbed on the table also and straddled his hips. "Um…yeah, what the fuck are you doing?" He furrowed his brow.

"Something. Something small."

"OH GOD! PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME!"

"I won't rape you! I don't even know how I'd go about doing so." She said as she bent down and kissed underneath his jaw on his pulse point. He pulled his arms forward trying to break free of the cuffs, but that didn't work. He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth as if Raven's lips were acidic.

"No…please let me go…" Raven shook her head. "No, really! I have to get out of this! I'm feeling too…too…RAVEN! Let me go, damn it!" He tugged at the restraints again, but to no avail.

"Calm down. It's not that bad."

"I have a SERIOUS phobia of people! LET ME FUCKING GO NOW!" Raven shook her head and claimed the one thing she'd wanted for so long; she pressed her lips against his. Johnny gasped and pulled once more at the cuffs causing blood to ooze from his wrists.

Raven saw this and pulled away. "AH! Shit, Johnny! Hold on!" She got off of him and fumbled through his pockets to get the keys. Before he knew it, he was out of the restraints. He sat up, holding his bloody wrists. Tears pricked at his eyes. Had Raven terrified him that much? She didn't know what to do…she didn't plan on _this_. "Johnny…should I go upstairs?" Johnny looked up at her with a fierceness she'd never seen and nodded. She obeyed and walked upstairs, leaving Johnny C. in the room alone.

* * *

**_AN- DAAAAYYYUUUMMM! Raven seriously got out of character there for a moment...but it's ok, cuz she's MY character! MUAHAHAHAHA...AHH, EKK! *chokes* Phew, that was close!_**

**_~UxieS. REVIEWS ARE GREATLY APPRECIMIATED! (yes, that is 'apprecimialted')_**


	13. Chapter 13

**_AN- YESS! XP SO FUN TO WRITE! Well, I felt bad for Nny in the last chapter, so I figured he deserved his own chapter... *takes deep breath*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_**

**_IAmLove, I appreciate your dedication to this story! And...if it was getting too cheezy, you'd tell me, yeah? I hope so! ^_^ I aim to please my readers!_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

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Chapter 13

"WHY?" Johnny snapped, jabbing a finger at his red-headed prisoner. "Why would she do that to me? I mean, Merry fucking Christmas to me!" His prisoner glowered at him.

"How the hell should I know?" She snapped. "I've been in HERE for a month and a half! At least that's what it's been when I stopped counting!" Johnny crossed his arms, angry at Raven for what she did the previous day. Once he'd calmed down, he drove her home. But today, he stared up at his prisoner.

"You know, I should get revenge…yes." Johnny smiled psychotically, his fingers intertwined with each other. "Hmm, but how should I do it? Well…I could start by slitting your throat…and…heh, and…hehe, and leave your body in her lawn. Hehehehe!" The prisoner widened her eyes. "But I won't. That's just too fucked up, even for me!"

"So, you're not going to kill me?"

"No, no. I'm still going to kill you. I'm just waiting for the right moment. But give me IDEAS of revenge! IDEAS!" He reached out for her dramatically. She shook her head. "What? You don't have any?"

"I'm not going to help you get revenge on her. I'm…well, I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not." Johnny smiled.

"That's not very nice of you, my friend."

The prisoner glared, "Friend? I don't even think you know the concept of that word!" Johnny shook his head.

"I was being facetious." He scoffed. "Hmm, you know what sounds like a good idea? Blowing up a dance club! Heh…that should take my mind off of Raven for a while." He smirked as he headed towards the door.

"WAIT! Raven? RAVEN? HEY!" He slammed the door, leaving her in there strapped to the machine. Johnny climbed the stairs to the main house and gazed over at the voices.

"Well?"

_Well what?_

Johnny crossed his arms. "What do I do now?"

_How should I know? You're an adult._

** Yes. But he's asking for guidance, idiot!**

_ Oh SHUT UP! I don't have any wisdom for him that he already hasn't heard._

**Bah! I can see that. Well, you want to get revenge on Raven, don't you? **Johnny nodded. **Well, to do that, you need to find something she loves and adores, then do something horrible to it!**

"Why?"

**Because you love and adore your personal space, and she mutilated your bubble! Do the same thing with something SHE loves! Hehe, then she'll understand how much she threw off your equilibrium with your bubble!**

Johnny smiled. "YES! I shall show her how I felt! Brilliant! But how? How can make her writhe in the same pain she caused me?"

**Kill her friend. NO! Wait! Let her witness her friend's murder! HA! She'll think twice about taking advantage of you!**

"But that'll hurt her worse than she hurt me." He bit his lip.

**BUT she'll never do that to you again! Think if how much happiness you'll have if you never have to risk that experience again! Shit, Nny!**

Johnny shifted weight back and forth on his feet. "That's true…but…I don't want to hurt her." Mr. Eff's eyes, his solid white eyes with black flare, peered almost into Johnny's soul.

**Come on. It's for a good cause. And besides, she already brought you pain, right? An eye for an eye, right?**

Johnny sighed and lowered his head. "I…I suppose. Alright. That settles it…I'm going to kill Kathy."

Nny! You don't have to do this!

"Yes, Nail Bunny. I do. I have to avenge my bubble!" He snapped, pulling both nail and bunny from the wall. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

But this isn't the right way! Just talk to her! I'm sure she'll understand!

Johnny set the bunny on the table. "No. She did this to me! She will pay!" He smiled cynically and headed for the door. "I'm going to find some cheerleader and tear her arms off. I'll be back late." So he walked out in the snow. He walked through the city, but found no one he wanted to kill or harm in some way. He sighed and decided to pay an old café a visit. He walked in and went to the front counter. Raven wasn't there this particular day. It was some small kid with glasses. "Small chai please."

"Yes, sir! It'll be up in three minutes!" He smiled, waited, and received the tea before paying and walking back into the frigid temperatures outside. He walked and looked in store windows. Damn, this was a boring day. No one to kill, no one to kidnap…he left his house for nothing. Shit. He passed by a light post with flyers all over it, so he decided to check them out. Missing animals, missing children, things for sale, job offers, lessons in whatever…and a Missing Person flyer for Kathy. Nny looked around him, making sure no one was looking, and ripped the flyer off the post and put it in a nearby trashcan.

Then, he heard screams…no, not screams, shrills, cries, pleads. Looking around, he noticed, near a dark alley, there were—what you'd expect—men around twenty to thirty years of age and a young girl about fifteen or sixteen years of age. Johnny squinted and watched a moment. "Give me your fucking purse, bitch!" One of the men shouted. He had the strap of a little brown purse while the girl held the compartment part.

"No! I can't! My medication is in here!" She sobbed. "At least let me get it out!" Another of the men shoved her to the ground, her grip on the purse relinquished.

The first man dug through the purse and pulled out money, her mp3, and her medication bottles. "Hey! We can sell all this stuff! Heh, here's your purse, bitch." He threw it to her as she sobbed. They went to walk away, but then came face to face with the homicidal maniac. "What do you want, punk?"

"I would like nothing more than to take you to my house."

"Heh," another man scoffed, "this dude thinks we're gay!"

"No, I never said anything about a romantic time." He dug through his coat pockets and pulled out two blades. "But I do need you." The men laughed.

"Why? Can't you see we're trying to run a business here?"

Johnny smiled angrily and scoffed at them. "Business? Harming a young child for her belongings? You stoop low enough to harm a child AND do petty theft? If you're going to steal, steal from a store that has more valuable items for shit's sake!"

The girl closed her eyes, heard several horrifying noises, and then silence. She peeked her eyes open to find Johnny towering over her, bloody, with a large grin. "Here's your stuff." He said, handing all her belongings to her. She nodded, whispered a thank you, and took off running in the opposite direction. Johnny gazed down at the bodies. He hadn't fed the wall in about a week, and the 'thing' was pushing through, so he took one of the bodies and dragged it home.

The body made a disturbing flop sound when it hit the floor of Johnny's basement. Draining the blood was easy; he cut open the throat and chest and allowed the blood to drip into a bucket, which he then carried to a wall on the far side of a torture room. He looked around for the paint brush, but he couldn't find it. So he pushed up his sleeves to his elbows and, to his displeasure, he scooped it up with his hands and rubbed it all over the brown-grey-maroon- crusty wall. The blood dribbled down his arms to his sleeves as he continued to feed the monster behind the wall.

"Nny?" He heard as the door squeaked. "Nny…holy fucking shit!"

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**_AN- THE WALL! OH THE HORROR OF IT ALL! Damn, I've been wanting to write the wall aprt for so long! I have a specific immage for the wall scene! I'll tell you where to find the image if you wanna know...or, if you want to, I'll post the link on my profile. ^_^ yepperdoodles!_**

**_~UxieS._**


	14. Chapter 14

**_AN- baaaaaadum! Here we go! Chapter 14! AT LONG LAST! Only took 13 chapter to get to this point...who'd have thunk it? XD_**

**_IAmLove, SSSHHHHHH! I didn't say that! X(_**

**_Well, I am SOOO SOOO SOOO happy...well, not soo soo soo happy. I'm content with his chapter...could be better...ehh..._**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

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Chapter 14

Johnny peered over his shoulder, his hands still on the wall. Raven stood there and gawked at him. She took cautious steps closer to him until they were standing shoulder to shoulder, well, not quite. She slowly raised her hand and touched the wall with her fingertips. She looked at her fingertips, which began burning from the suffocating skin underneath the blood. Johnny's gaze never left her hand. She turned to him. "Nny, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about what happened yesterday…" She whimpered. "That was really, really wrong of me." She looked down. "But the truth is…I really…really…l-love you." Johnny let his arms fall limply to his sides and he stared ahead blankly at nothing. Raven scratched her nose and looked up at him to see his reaction. He had…sad eyes. "Nny?" He took a full step closer to her and let just his fingertips gently grip her wrists. He leaned in and, like the first time, let his lips barely even brush against hers.

"Haphephobia." He whispered.

"What?" Johnny backed away and released her wrists.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry." Raven nodded. Johnny went around her and reached in the bucket for more blood, and then he speared it over another section of the wall. Raven watched as he did this several times, then she removed her jacket and rolled her sleeves up as well and dipped her hands in the bucket. Johnny noticed her expression when she did so. "You don't have to do that."

"I know. I want to." She smiled as she rubbed the blood on the wall. Johnny smiled slightly as well. The blood dribbled down her arms as it did Johnny and soaked into the black sleeves of her sweater. "Why are you afraid to touch people?" Johnny looked away, half ashamed.

"Because…every time I let someone touch me, even in the slightest, I always get hurt. I always get fucked in the ass, and I was just one day done with it." Raven sighed and continued her work. Johnny forced back a genuine smile, keeping his usual bleak demeanor. "Red looks good on you." Raven, though the red that was on her now was absolutely disgusting, blushed.

"You too."

"So…you…love me?" Raven nodded, blushing more. "I wish I could say the same for you. I locked that emotion away so long ago, I don't think I can access it anymore."

"What about…I don't know…lust?"

"No!" He said, slightly harsher than necessary. "I will not succumb to physical longing."

"Does that mean you do want me?"

"We're not talking about this anymore." He said, scooping yet another handful of blood. Raven tilted her head.

"You don't even want to try?"

Johnny held out his scabbed wrists. "If I did, do you think I'd have these?" Raven lowered her head. "Back up." He said as he gripped the sides of the bucket and threw the remaining blood on the wall. "Um, since you're all bloody…you can use my shower." He mumbled and leaned against a different wall.

Raven nodded. "Thank you…Nny?" She gazed upon the odd sight. Johnny leaned against the wall with closed eyelids. He managed to stay upright. His breathing was soft and gentile and Raven thought he was so cute, so…vulnerable. Blood still coated his arms, but nothing more. He needed this much deserved sleep, though he didn't want it in the least bit. She stepped up to him and brushed a single hair from his face. It seemed that that one hair was the only thing that kept his balance, because then he slumped over straight into Raven. She caught him and was surprised to see him still sleeping. He opened his eyes just slightly, and so she led him upstairs, her bloody hand in his bloody hand. He was an amazing sleepwalker. He was better walking while asleep than Raven was awake. She led him to his couch, where she lay him down so he could continue the rest. While he slept, she jumped in the shower to wash the blood from her skin.

Johnny jolted awake and fell on the floor. "Ow." He looked around and saw the Doughboys and Nail Bunny staring at him. "What happened?" He looked down at his hands, still covered in blood. "SHIT! Did I kill her?"

**Unfortunately…no, you didn't. You fell asleep.**

"What? Where is she then?" He heard the water to the shower shut off and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God…" He smiled.

_What are you smiling for? _

"Is it not an obvious reason? I didn't kill her!"

_That's no reason to be cheery. _

Leave him alone, D-Boy. Let him be happy just this once.

**I never thought I'd agree with that rodent, but I concur. **

_Shut up…_

The door to the bathroom opened and Raven walked out. She wore one of Nny's shirts since hers got bloody. "I…I hope this is ok." She said shyly, pointing to the "Smile, you fucker!" shirt. He nodded.

"Um…Raven?" He whispered. "When I was sleeping…I had this dream. You were in it. And we were…I dunno…kissing?" Raven tilted her head to the side. "And I was thinking, maybe, if you wanted, we could try? If you…want." She nodded and smiled and sat leg-crossed on the floor next to him. "But! If I say stop, you have to stop!" She nodded again and they leaned into each other, locking their lips, officially, for the first time. Nny's breath caught in his throat, but he didn't pull back. He actually smiled a bit. Raven hummed, "I love you, Nny."

"I…I…" He stumbled on the words he hadn't used in over sixteen years. "I…"

Screaming.

Raven and Johnny both jumped at the sudden shrill sound that erupted from Johnny's basement. Raven looked worriedly over at Johnny, who shook his head. "Please don't go." She disobeyed and ran downstairs, Johnny following close behind. She heard the screams again coming from the door; that one single vile door that Johnny didn't want her to go through. She did anyways, and she stopped abruptly at the entrance. She gazed upon her findings in shock, Johnny walking up slowly behind her. In front of the two, strapped in a strange machine, was the red-head; Kathy.

* * *

**_AN DUDUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN! THE DRAMA! NOT DRAMA! HEAVEN FORBID THERE BE ANY DRAMA! Ugh...so bored...and cold...hmm, maybe I'll make me some Hot Cocoa! Yum! ^_^_**

**_What didja think? Cheezy? Well...I dont know. This story won't last much more...a few chapters, 6,7...8 maybe left...well, there is according to my plans... I DON'T KNOW! We'll see._**

**_~UxieS._**


	15. Chapter 15

**__**

AN- heh...heheh...hehehehehehehe!

**_IAmLove, heh...Smart one, my friend. Though, I didn't make that point subtle enough, did I?_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

* * *

Chapter 15

Johnny fell over the side of the couch and landed on the floor. He pushed himself up and looked around. The Doughboys and the bunny were sitting undisturbed on the desk. What happened? They were just downstairs…he looked around. He didn't understand. He heard a squeak, and then realized that someone was in the bathroom. Raven popped out wearing his shirt, like before. "This ok?" She asked. He scratched his head.

"I…I can't tell…am I awake?" He asked. Raven nodded. "How do I know I'm still not dreaming?" She thought a moment.

"Stand like this." She spread her feet about three feet apart. He stood and did the same. "Ok, now put your hands behind your head and close your eyes." He did. "Ok, now count to three and take a deep breath."

He nodded. "Ok. One, two, three." He inhaled deeply and quickly doubled over in pain. "Ho…ly…s-hiii…gah!" Raven felt bad for kicking him there but the effects were fun for her to watch. "w-what…was that…for?"

"Did that hurt?" Johnny glared up at her. "That means you're awake."

"F-f-fu…ckk…y-you…" Raven sat next to him.

She moved a hair from his face. "Aw, come on. You found out if you were awake, right? What did you dream about?"

Johnny's face turned red. He didn't want to say anything, especially about the 'kiss' that happened. So, instead of answering her, he just shook his head. The pain in his lower half began to ebb away. "D-do you…maybe want to go get something to drink? I'll buy." Raven smiled, her lips as red as the blood that still coated Johnny's arms. She nodded. "G-great. Um, just let me clean off the blood." He said, standing. Raven helped him up because of the still sore area.

They walked through the street and kicked rocks and trash and sticks about. They remained silent most of the way, their breaths appearing as ghosts then quickly disappearing in front of them. "Johnny?" Raven whispered.

"Yes?" She opened her mouth to speak, but then decided against it. "What?"

"H-have you ever lost something—or someone—that was very dear to you?"

"Well…yes. There was a woman, Claudia. She was very sweet. We'd known each other for a few months, and so she thought it would be a good idea to ask me to dinner. We went, and then she came to my house for a while. I haven't talked to her since. She was killed."

"Oh…I'm sorry…"

"Don't be! I killed her!" Raven pursed her lips. "Why?"

Raven looked down. "Well…this whole Kathy thing. I'm just worried. What if she's dead?"

"She's not dead!" Johnny said slightly too quickly. Raven glanced up. "She can't be. I'm sure of it." Raven absentmindedly threw her arms around Johnny's waist and nestled into his chest. Nny cringed, but kept composure. _'It's just a hug.'_ He told himself. _'It's just a hug.'_

"Thank you." She hummed, silent tears rolling down her face. She pulled away from him and they continued walking. Johnny stuffed his hands in his pockets and felt something smooth and cold; the handle of his blade. For a split second, he contemplated jamming it into his skull, but he remembered he was with Raven, and the idea vanished. He took a quavering breath in and asked her, "What would you do if I died?"

"W-what?" She asked hollowly. "Why?"

"No reason. I just want to know."

"Well, I'd be completely lost and heartbroken. I…I love you." Johnny blinked. That was the second time today that she said that. He didn't respond. He didn't know if he loved her or if he lusted for her. Well, he'd never succumb to lust, but he didn't know.

They entered the gas station and they searched for the Brainfreezy machine. Target was located, but it wasn't working. An 'Out of Order' sign was taped to the front of the nozzles and Johnny felt the same disappointment rising in his abdomen. Raven held his hand. "It's ok. They have Fizz-Wizz…oh. No, they don't have Fizz-Wizz." Johnny gritted his teeth and remembered the things that happened over the years; his parents' murders, the abuse he received in foster care, not having anyone to be his companion, all the persecution he'd received, the anger, the depression, the disappointment…

"That's it." He said plainly. "That's it. It's done. I'm done." He fumbled through his pocket and gripped the little blade and held it to his temple, smiling cynically. "Over the stars…I will go."

Raven panicked and gripped the blade end of the knife. "Don't! Johnny! It's not worth it!" Johnny looked deep into her eyes. Her eyes held fear and sadness. She was afraid. Not for her own self interest, but for him. But he didn't pull the blade away from his head until he saw one, just one, tear. He let the blade fall to the floor, splattering little crimson spots across the white tile. Raven had sliced her hand when she grabbed the blade.

The two purchased other drinks and left to Raven's house. Johnny offered to clean her wound, but she refused. She bandaged it and they sat on the couch in silence. They shifted uncomfortably and Raven found herself inching closer to Johnny. He noticed this and inched further away. "You…uh, you saved my life." He said quietly. "Thank you." Raven smiled and yawned. It was 11 pm, and she had to work tomorrow.

"Are you staying?" She asked. Johnny thought a moment and shook his head. "Oh. Well that's ok. Good night." She stood and walked towards her room.

"Oh, Raven?" Johnny called. She turned to him. He remembered what he discussed with the Doughboys. "Um, when you get off work tomorrow, please come over. I have something for you."

"Ok." She grinned. "Good night, Nny."

"Good night." He stood and walked back to his house, tears pricking at his eyes.

**Nny, you're home! **

"Am I making a mistake?"

**Mistake?**

"What is this feeling? I mean, today I hurt her. I hurt her. And I felt bad. Why did I feel bad?"

_It's a sign that you should…_

**SHUT UP! He's talking to ME!**

_Shove it up your ass, Mr. Eff! I can talk too!_

What's wrong, Nny?"

Johnny sat on his couch and buried his face in his palms. "Guilt. Why do I feel guilt?"

Because you hurt her and you didn't want to.

"But what does that mean?"

Love?

**HA! That's ridiculous! Johnny C. loves no one! Fool rodent.**

Johnny looked up. "No. I don't 'love' her. I can't 'love' her. I just can't. But I can't hurt her. No. Ah, shit. I can't do this. I can't kill Kathy."

**WHAT?**

"No. I can't. I can't hurt Raven anymore."

**Nny, be reasonable…**

"I am. Tomorrow, I will let Kathy out. Fuck you, Mr. Eff! I'm not listening to you anymore." He said and stomped into his room.

_**Dear Die-Ary,**_

_**It's not love. It's certainly not love. But it's something I've never felt. Damn, I should just kill myself before it gets worse. No, because then who'd protect Raven? She needs me. But do I need her? Yes? No? Yes? I don't know. Fuck.**_

* * *

_**AN- The Thanksgivingness has made me neglect the writing of this chapter! Sorry bout that! **_

_**Hehe, it's just a hug! *squee face***_

_**~UxieS.**_


	16. Chapter 16

**_AN- HEY! ^_^ Almost done...ALMOST DOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE...yeah! ^_^_**

**_So, uh, this chapters kinda longish and odd. I recently discovered Pepito Diablo (Is my second favorite Character! Sorry Squee, but third place isn't that bad...)...and, umm, before I swoon, I must admit that he's in this chapter, mainly for filler. That's why this chapter kinda sucks a little bit._**

**_heh, my morbid mind got the best of me here...kinda. It'll get even more twisted, so if THIS is too much for you, reading ahead will definitely fudge with your brain. (Mmmm, fuuudddgggeee...yum)_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

**_

* * *

_**

Chapter 16

"HEY! Raven!" One of Raven's male coworkers with curly scraggly hair called. "What's up? About time you showed up!"

She glared and smiled. "Shut up. I was busy."

"With what? That smexy guy who used to come in every week?" The others giggled.

"Actually! Yes." She smiled as she watched his expression. "I was. Why?" He shook his head and continued his work. She pressed the buttons and clocked in and began working her usual ten hour shift.

"You've been with him for what? Six months now?" Another coworker asked. She nodded. "That's good. Are you doing anything for your seventh month?"

"Uh, I don't think so. We haven't even done anything the first six months. A hug here and there."

Her coworker's eyes widened. "No kissing? Nothing?"

"Nope. He's got people phobia."

"A cup of hot chocolate, please." She heard from a customer. She got to work immediately on the hot chocolate and turned to give it to him, but was surprised to see him. He was a scrawny kid with dark olive skin and tiny horns coming from his head within tuffs of black hair. This kid had glowing red eyes and an eerie feel about him. She'd imagined he'd just walked right out of a horror film. She handed him the cup and received the money. He tilted his head to the side. "Raven Macbeth, right?" She nodded warily. The kid leaned over to her and said in a dark velvety tone that sent chills down her spine, "I'm Pepito Diablo. I have a bit of advice. Do not go over to your friend's house today."

"Why?"

"I repeat. Do. Not. Go. To. His. House. Today. Just a little insight about the future. Heh. Good day, Miss." He smiled with a sly smirk and took the cup and walked out. The coworker with curly hauir looked over.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"I have no idea." She replied and went about her work, wary of 'Pepito's' words.

**Johnny! The thing has begun to push through!**

Johnny sat on the couch and hung upside down, his black hair touching the floor. He looked over at the upside-down Styrofoam people. "Screw the wall." He said hollowly. "Fuck the thing."

**This is bad, Johnny! Oh so very bad! I can feel it! You have to keep it in the wall before you set it free!**

"Or what'll happen?" He asked, his voice rising slightly. "I've been a slave to that thing for years! If it can't handle a week without blood, then it should find a new slave!"

**No! I want to walk! Feed it so I can…I mean, um, feed it so **_**you**_** can rest easy! Heh…**

_Shut up! I actually would rather be with my master again, you poorly painted piece of sh—_

**Excuse me? Poorly painted? I'm better painted than YOU! At least I don't have 'FUCK' written on me!**

_Fuck off, dick! _

"Shut! Up! Both of you! I don't want to hear you two fucking argue again! It makes me want to kill something!"

**OH! Good idea, Nny! Go kill something!**

"No! I don't WANT to kill anything right now!" He got off the couch and grabbed his diary. He flipped through the pages, sighed. He closed the book, but then opened it again. "I'm a fuck-up, aren't I?"

_Just now figured that out, genius?_

Johnny glared at him and threw the diary at him, but missed, creating a small hole in the wall. He crossed his arms and stood there in silence for a good half an hour before a knock came to at the door. "Who the…?" He questioned and opened the door.

"Johnny C., am I correct?" Pepito asked. Johnny nodded. "Good! Well then, I have some advice for you. Do not let your friend, Raven, in today. Just a bit of future telling here."

"Who are you?"

"I am Pepito Diablo." He smiled.

Johnny laughed. "You're cute! Kind of like one of those shoulder devils. They're cute."

Pepito growled. "I am the son of Satan! Do not mock me, mortal!"

"Oh, well now that's just sad. You look nothing like Satan. You, uh, tiny." Pepito glowered and pointed a finger at him. "Thanks for the advice, uh, Pepito." He slammed the door right as Pepito shot a beam of energy, and the door shrank to about an inch high.

Pepito and Nny looked down at the odd square. "Oops."

"You shrank my door, you little shit!" Nny groaned. Pepito turned it normal once again and walked away. "Stupid spawn of Satan." He grumbled, and he walked into his room and began drawing some 'Happy Noodle Boy.'

Raven locked the door to the café and headed over to Johnny's house, Pepito's words escaping her thoughts completely. She smiled happily, humming some Metallica on the way. She held in her hand a chai for Nny and tried to keep it as warm as possible. She walked up to the door and opened it quietly. Johnny sat on his couch and ate popcorn while watching TV. He looked up. "Popcorn?" he offered. She smiled and shook her head.

"I brought you a chai." She handed him the tea and sat next to him.

"Thank you. I knew there was a reason I liked you!" He grinned, taking a sip of the warm liquid. Raven blushed. He absentmindedly leaned in to kiss her, but stopped a few inches away. "Oh, um. Sorry."

"You can if you want. Why don't you?" She asked. He held out his wrists again, still slightly scabbed from the Christmas incident a few days prior. "I said I was sorry!"

"I know. I'm just explaining why. So what's up?"

"Nothing. Hey, do you have a plug? My phone's about to die."

Johnny thought a moment. "No, sorry."

"That's ok. You, uh, told me to come over after work." Johnny quickly leapt to his feet.

"OH YEAH! Ok, hold on! I'll be right back!" He ran downstairs and ran into the 'forbidden' room. "YOU! Today's your lucky day!" He pointed at Kathy, the red-headed prisoner. She glowered down at him.

"About fucking time, prick!"

"Hey! I'm not doing this for you! I'm doing it for me! I'm sick of watching you sit in your own shit and piss. And besides, I need this room for someone else. So shut up and sit still. One wrong move and I could tear you to shreds." He snapped and walked over to the control mechanism and began the process for letting her out. Almost there. He was nearly complete.

"HOLY FUCK!" A shriek came from the door. Johnny whirled around to see, but, as he said, he hit a separate lever and the machine immediately tore Kathy apart.

Blood sprayed the floor, the walls, and the death machine. "Oh fuck…" Nny gasped, staring at the mess. Raven backed into the wall, staring in horror at the bloody remains of her friend. Though she was horrified, she didn't cry. Why? Crying wouldn't bring her back. Johnny stood silently, looking down at the floor with his right hand still placed on the control panel. "Why…did you come down here?" Raven didn't answer. She still stared at her mutilated friend. "Why did you come down here? She'd still be alive!" He walked over to her.

"What? Are you blaming this on _me_?" She spat.

"Yes! That's EXACTLY what I'm doing!"

"WHAT? YOU'RE the one who had her hooked up to the machine! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO RIPPED HER APART!" Johnny, acting on impulse, gripped her throat and slammed her against the wall.

"I DIDN'T FUCKING DO IT ON PURPOSE!" He then grew wide eyed as he saw her face. She wasn't struggling. 'Why?' he wondered. 'Why does she not struggle? Oh, fuck.' He released her throat and turned his back to her.

Raven rubbed her throat. "I…I forgive you, Nny."

"Raven…I think we need to go separate ways now…"

Raven blinked. "W-what? Why?"

"Because, this isn't healthy. Who are we kidding? We're awful together." Raven shook her head.

"No…No, Nny. We can do this…please! I forgive you! We can work it out!"

"No." Raven grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. She already began crying. His expression, his cold, emotionless expression, never changed. She couldn't see what was so wrong in this so obviously toxic relationship. She saw Nny for a person, but he saw himself as a tumor. She'd never be safe with him, he thought. "No, please! Nny, I love you! I need you! I need you!"

He turned away again. "I…I don't need you." Raven stood there for a moment at his turned back. She shook her head again and walked up the stairs and outside in the cold. What she didn't see when he turned away the second time was his tears.

Johnny backed up into the wall and slid down, his knees to his chest. He rested his elbows on his knees and curled his arms up over his head and sobbed. "Fuck…me…" He cried. "Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me." He'd done the one thing he swore to never do; hurt her.

* * *

**_AN- This was in my head for a long time...loonngg time, even before the whole Christmas thing. Cuz I pretty much built the story off of this final part of this chapter. XD_**

**_~UxieS._**


	17. Chapter 17

**_AN- A lil different than what I usually do. I got this review for the last chapter and it said that it reminded the reader of teh sone, "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rhianna, so...yeah, a song fic chappie...yep. Hope it's ok...I hope._**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

* * *

Chapter 17

Snow fell outside as Raven ran nowhere in particular. The wind smacked her face causing it to turn a pink, her tears nearly freezing solid in the cold. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that he'd lefty her, especially so suddenly. Her ear buds were in her ears as she scampered and sobbed.

**-Just gonna stand there and watch me burn-  
-Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts-  
-Just gonna stand there and hear me cry-  
-Well that's alright because I love the way you lie-  
-I love the way you lie-**

Johnny sauntered up the stairs and went immediately to his paint easel and a blank canvas. He thought a moment, and then he gripped the cold wooden handle of his neglected paintbrush and dipped it in a cup of black paint. He slid the paint smoothly across the canvas, thinking about the woman he'd rejected ten minutes prior.

**-I can't tell you what it really is-  
-I can only tell you what it feels like-  
-And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe-  
-I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight-  
-As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight-  
-High off of love, drunk from my hate-  
-It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love her-  
-The more I suffer, I suffocate-  
-Right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates-  
-Me, she fuckin' hates me and I love it, Wait!-**

He stroked more paint, occasionally dipping it back into the cup. He couldn't remember the last time he painted…a long time ago, years, as a matter of fact. He was amazed, Raven was the only one who had the power to make him paint and write poetry. "Damn it." He cursed. "Why did she…have to come into my life?" He asked no one in particular. His strokes on the canvas kept continuing as Nail Bunny answered him.

Because, Johnny, you needed guidance. She gave you guidance.

"I still need guidance." He dipped the paintbrush again and stroked again.

**-Where you going? I'm leaving you.-  
-No you ain't. Come back. We're running right back-  
-Here we go again, it's so insane-  
-'Cause when it's going good, it's going great-  
-I'm Superman with the wind in his back-  
-She's Lois Lane, but when it's bad, it's awful-  
-I feel so ashamed, I snapped, "Who's that dude?"-  
-I don't even know his name-  
-I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again-  
-I guess I don't know my own strength-**

Johnny washed the brush and went for red and stroked the paint on only one portion of the canvas, and dotted it a little with white for a shining effect. He signed his name at the bottom, stood back, and admired the work of art; it was a portrait…of Raven. Her entire face and hair were painted with black, and her lips were red as the blood that coursed through her veins. He was satisfied for a mere second, and then he noticed the black around her eyes dribbled down and created black, dark, permanent tears.

**-Just gonna stand there and watch me burn-  
-But that's alright because I like the way it hurts-  
-Just gonna stand there and hear me cry-  
-But that's alright because I love the way you lie-  
-I love the way you lie-  
-I love the way you lie-**

Raven finally stopped running and rested against a cold brick wall. The snow was a few inches thick on the ground and she kicked it away. She opened her phone for the time and she immediately began panicking. It was dead, and her fear of being alone outside at night struck her like lightning. She turned in place looking for some safe zone to plug her phone in, but nothing was open at this hour. So she ran in the direction of her home as fast as she could.

**-You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe-  
-When you're with 'em-  
-You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em-  
-Got that warm fuzzy feeling-  
-Yeah, them chills you used to get 'em-  
-Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em-  
-You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em-  
-Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them-  
-You push pull each other's hair, scratch claw hit 'em-  
-Throw 'em down pin 'em-  
-So lost in the moments when you're in them-  
-It's the rage that took over it controls you both-  
-So they say you're best to go your separate ways-**

Johnny sat and stared at the picture in front of him. "It would have been better if you just stayed away." He said to it.

_Better how?_

"Neither of us would be in this situation, Kathy might still be alive, nor would I hurt so much." Je cursed himself and reached under his couch for his convenient rectangular friend; his gun. He smiled as he held the metal in his hands.

Don't do it! It's not worth it! I can explain why you feel like this!

Johnny ignored him.

**-Guess if they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday-  
-Yesterday is over, it's a different day-  
-Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her-  
-Next time you show restraint-  
-You don't get another chance-  
-Life is no Nintendo game-  
-But you lied again-  
-Now you get to watch her leave out the window-  
-Guess that's why they call it window pane-**

Nny, I think I know why you hurt.

"Why?"

You love her.

Johnny buried his face into his palms and shed a few tears. "I know."

**-Just gonna stand there and watch me burn-  
-But that's alright because I like the way it hurts-  
-Just gonna stand there and hear me cry-  
-But that's alright because I love the way you lie-  
-I love the way you lie-  
-I love the way you lie-**

Raven scurried home as fast as she could. Her heart pounded in her chest and her blood pulsed in her ears. "Fuck!" She screamed. "Fuck! Fuck! Fu-ah!" She slipped on a hidden sheet of ice and she fell backwards into the snow.

"Are you alright?" A man walked up to her. "Let me help you up, Pretty Lady." Raven shook her head and backed away.

"N-no thank you."

"No, really. I'll help you up." He reached out for her. She backed away again, for some reason unable to gain her footing.

"No. P-please don't touch me!"

The man grew angry. "Come on, chick! I'll help you up!"

Raven cowered. "N-no, please! I'm f-fine!"

**-Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean-  
-And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine-  
-But your temper's just as bad as mine is-  
-You're the same as me-  
-But when it comes to love you're just as blinded-  
-Baby, please come back-  
-It wasn't you, baby it was me-  
-Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems-  
-Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano-  
-All I know is I love you too much to walk away though-**

Johnny lifted the gun to his temple and took in a deep breath and cleaned his face of the liquid that seeped from his eyes. How could he be so foolish, to think love was a good idea? He chuckled lightly to himself. "Tonight, this ends." He hummed. "All my pain, all my fear, all my disappointment. Over the stars, over everything. Over Raven."

NO! NNY!

Johnny closed his eyes, smiled, and pulled the trigger.

**-Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk-  
-Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk-  
-I told you this is my fault-  
-Look me in the eyeball-  
-Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall-  
-Next time. There won't be no next time-  
-I apologize even though I know its lies-  
-I'm tired of the games I just want her back-**

His eyes opened. Why wasn't he dead? He clicked the gun a few more times before realizing he had run out of bullets a week prior. "AH! SHIT! I can't even KILL MYSELF right? SON OF A BITCH!" He threw the gun across the room and it hit the wall with a deafening thud.

Nny…

"WHAT! THE FUCK! DO YOU WANT?"

It's just…nothing…

"Fine, don't tell me! Fuckin' A!"

**-I know I'm a liar-  
-If she ever tries to fucking leave again-  
-Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire-  
-I'm just gonna…-**

Raven somehow got to her feet and turned the opposite direction and began to run, but the stranger's hand gripped her arm and was cragged into a nearby alley.

**-Just gonna stand there and watch me burn-  
-But that's alright because I like the way it hurts-  
-Just gonna stand there and hear me cry-  
-But that's alright because I love the way you lie-  
-I love the way you lie-  
-I love the way you lie-**

**

* * *

**

_**AN- I just realized that they live in a pretty fudged up neighborhood, with crime and all...huh...shoulda rethought THAT detail a little bit...O.O**_

_**~UxieS.**_


	18. Chapter 18

**_AN- This chapter is shorter than the rest. I just don't think theres any more to do with it. I added a few lyrics to the end, but nothing like Chapter 17. ^_^ ENJOY!_**

**_(Lyrics are "Hello" by Evanescence)_**

**_IAmLove, GAAWWWSH! I loe you! ^_^ You make my brain happy! You and your awesome comments that kept me going, otherwise I'd have ditched this story a long time ago._**

**_xILoVezx, Thank you for liking this story! Although I have to say there are tons, TONS, more authors out there better than me, I am extremely proud of this story! My highest so far reviewed story and I love it! heh...but enough about that. ^_^ Thank you! I wish you had an account so I can thank you on a more personal obnoxious level! ^_^_**

**_~UxieSweetie  
_**

* * *

Chapter 18

Johnny looked outside and yawned loudly. It appeared as if morning came faster than he expected. A fresh thick blanket of snow coated the ground, untouched by human feet. He smiled. He loved the snow; it was so free and pure, not needing to answer to any insane goings on in their minds. He came out of his room with ten new pages of 'Happy Noodle Boy' and set them on the desk next to Psycho-Doughboy and stretched his arms outward and yawned again. Damn, this was going to be a good day. He was going to make sure of that. But first, before anything else, he wanted breakfast. Breakfast at the unhealthiest place in town; McMeaties. He grabbed his usual long black coat and slipped it on and he put on his usual steel-toed boots and clasped the buckles and went on his way through the white icy blanket.

He whistled "Kryptonite", Three Doors Down's famous composition, as he walked. He inhaled the cool air, his breath ghosting in front of him. "If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand? I'll keep you by my si…" his little solo was interrupted when he passed by an alley. He had heard stifled moans and sobs from the far end, and it gripped his curiosity, so he peeked over at it. He was appalled, no. Angry, no. Furious, not even close. He was seething. Even the word seething would be a too nice of a word to describe his emotion at that moment. What he saw, what he ran to, was Raven. She lay in the snow completely stripped of her clothing. Blood surrounded her. She'd lost a lot, but why? He moved a few pocks of hair from her face and helped her to her feet. She had a few puncture wounds in her abdomen and blood seeped out still. Her eyes were barely open and she was completely pale; paler than Johnny had ever seen her. He took off his jacket and wrapped her up to warm her and guided her to a nearby auto part store.

"HEY!" He screamed angrily. "Call a fucking ambulance! NOW!" The clerk nodded silently and punched the buttons on the phone. Johnny held Raven close, her body still as cold as the outside was. She coughed a bit, blood dribbling from the corners of her mouth.

"J-Johnny…" She murmured. "I-I don't want t-to die…from this…" Johnny held her closer.

"D-don't talk like that. You're not going to die." He responded softly, a hint of fear in his eyes. Raven looked up at him.

"I-if I am g-gonna die…I want you to k-kill me." Johnny shook his head. He couldn't…he wouldn't. He shouldn't.

"Hey, man!" The store clerk called. " They'll be on their way!" Johnny nodded and thanked the man. He got them a cup of water and let them sit on a display set of car seats.

Raven groaned at the growing pain in her abdomen. Johnny held his hand to the wounds, trying to keep as much blood as possible inside her body. "Nngh…Nny…I-I love you. So much…so f-fucking much."

Johnny looked down at her, her very Goth vampire looking body, so pale with blood on her lips and black hair. She looked so weak and so vulnerable. He, in a way, found this entrancing. He could feel her weight in his arms and he knew that that's where they belonged. He was just upset that it was under these circumstances that he finally noticed. He found himself leaning to her and was unable to stop himself from placing his lips on hers. She mewled happily and smiled against his softer than expected lips before going limp. Johnny gripped her and kept her from falling as he noticed the ambulance pull up at the store. The Paramedics lay her on a bed and put her in the bed of the ambulance and asked Johnny if he wanted to go too, which he did.

**-Don't try to fix me I'm not broken -  
-Hello -  
-I'm the lie-  
-Living for you so you can hide-  
-Don't cry-**

It was a long excruciating ride to the hospital, but Johnny had in his pocket a knife, his favorite knife, so that—if he needed—could deliver Raven a swift clean kill. She coughed a few times, more blood trickling from the corners of her mouth. Johnny could still taste the blood on his lips from the kiss. Had he really been bold enough to kiss her? It was shocking to him; a few days ago he nearly slit his wrists trying to escape a kiss, now he was willingly giving them out. He felt…a loathing for himself. Johnny found himself biting his finger in an attempt to wake from this awful nightmare. It did not work.

**-Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping-  
-Hello-  
-I'm still here -  
**

He did not love her…he did _not_…

**-All that's left of yesterday-**

He _could_ not…

* * *

_**AN- Well? WELL? What do ya think HUH? HUH? TELL MEEEE! TELLLL MEEE!**_

**_~UxieS._**


	19. Chapter 19

**_AN- I'm too depressed to keep writing this chapter. I hope it'll suffice til next Monday or Tuesday._**

**_I love you all who read this story! ^_^ Makes me feel better! Reviews are greatly appreciated._**

**_~Me_**

* * *

Chapter 19

The walls of the hospital made Johnny feel as if he were in a white prison full of sickness and helplessness. He sat on an uncomfortable bench outside the surgery room where they were stitching Raven's wounds. He inhaled deeply and leaned his head against the cold wall and shut his eyes. He was only out for about five minute when the doctor woke him up and asked if he wanted to see her. He bit his finger to try to 'wake up' but when he didn't, he nodded and followed him into the room where she stayed. She looked so…hopeless. Tubes ran from her arms; she looked so artificial, mechanically kept alive. He hated seeing her that way, but he walked up next to her and sat in the chair beside her bed. Raven looked over at him. "Hi." She said weakly. Johnny's heart broke. She'd been a bubbly mass of bubbles when they used to hang out. Now she was soundless and pale.

He felt his heart clenching in his chest. "Who did this to you?" Raven shrugged.

"I don't know." She responded. "I know his face, not his name." Johnny felt the question tug at his tongue, but he didn't want to be so blunt…but still, he had to know. He needed to…

"Raven? Were you…"

"Alright, we have a few questions!" The doctor walked in and sat down on a small stool. "First off, what happened?"

Raven sat up a bit. "Well, I was walking home at night and I slipped. He tried helping me up, but I said no, and so he got…really…uh…" Her eyes went blank and she looked down. The doctor tilted his head.

"Uh?" Raven looked up.

"Oh. S-sorry. He got aggressive, and he t-took me into an alley and he…he…" She looked down again.

"Raven?" Johnny hummed. She looked up again.

"What? Oh yeah. Um, he…he t-tried to…to…r… No, he _did_ ra…r…ra…" She turned a blank expression once more and slid under the thin white blankets of the bed.

The doctor stood. "Huh, this is odd. I guess I'll get a Psychologist in here. Well, it's been confirmed she was raped. We'll be back for semen samples later." Johnny gritted his teeth. Raven was still curled up underneath the blanket and he pulled them from over her head.

She peered up. "Oh, hi. When did you get here?" Johnny frowned. "Why am I here? Why, oh damn. That's not good." She said, looking at her gauzed up abdomen. "What happened to me?" Johnny choked back a sob. He didn't know what happened to her mind, but it wasn't good, whatever it was.

"You were…were raped." He stifled another cry as he watched her expression; a mix of anger, pain, depression…

"I love you Nny."

"You love me still? After what I did?"

"Kiss me. Please." She asked—no, pleaded. Her somber quiet voice screamed with desperation and Johnny lowered his head. He couldn't...he wouldn't…he shouldn't…their lips met once more but Nny felt something different in this kiss; his lips were on fire and he couldn't tell if it hurt or not but he wanted more. Without hesitation, Raven wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He let out a light gasp, but didn't pull away; that is, until he felt cold fingers slip underneath his shirt. He backed away with a half-afraid expression on his face. "W-why? Don't you want me?"

"I…can't. I can't, Raven. You were just raped…and I can't touch people."

"You don't want me?"

"Raven I ca…can't!" He cried. "I can't even say 'I love you' to you!"

"Why not?"

"Because I hurt you!"

"You…?"

"I choked you! Remember? I tore your friend apart then I choked you! Then I drove you away! Fuck! You're HERE because of me! I did this to you!"

Raven tilted her head. "You raped me?"

Johnny let out an irritated huff. "No! I…fuck it!" He snapped and walked out of the room. Wiping the tears from his face, he went down to the lobby where all the little shops were. There was a Starcents Coffee, so he went in. He ordered a chai, as usual, and a mocha latte for Raven. He paid and proceeded back to the room, whistling a random tune. Huh, the five minute walk down to the coffee shop really did him well. He wasn't as upset as before. "Raven! I got you something!" He cheered. She smiled.

"What is it? Coffee?"

"Yep! Mocha! I hope you like this kind. There were like fifty kinds." She took the cup and drank a bit. "Good?" She nodded. "Good. Raven…" She looked over at him as he sat in the chair and scooted close to her. "I'm…sorry." He felt her grip his hand and she felt his fingers fall away. She frowned. Nny set his tea down and rested his face in his hands. His fingers laced through his hair and he sighed.

"Johnny..." Raven smiled. "I love you."

"I wish I could say that to you…"

* * *

**_AN- So angry...sorry it's short. Expect more later!_**

**_~Me again_**


	20. Chapter 20

**__**

AN- LATE! I KNOW! I'm sorry! I was at my moms and she doesnt have a computie and so...yeah. Sorry for the 4 day wait! (you impatient little holes)

**_Heh, just kidding! ^_^_**

**_IAmLove, Heh, well this time didn't prove so fast...but thats ok! ^_^ And it's ok if you don't read the DAY it comes out! I dont care. ^_^ I'll love ya anyways! ^o^_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

* * *

Chapter 20

"Alright, so far we've made no progress." The detective said, placing his notebook on the table. Raven sat in the chair in the little room at the police station. "We've not no DNA samples, no name…I hope you can remember the face." Raven nodded quickly. Johnny sat outside the room looking in through the one-way mirror. The officer nodded and pulled out a recording device and asked Raven to explain the rapist's appearance as well as she could.

"Ok…well, he was about six-feet tall and, uh…uh…" she scratched her head, "he was…white…and, um…tall, white, and, um…male."

"Yes. Anything else? And distinct features?" Raven squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think.

"Well, he had…a nose…and…fuck, I can't remember."

"What?"

"I don't remember what he looked like."

_"Hey. Don't strain yourself, I mean shit! You're thinking too hard!" _

Raven laid her forehead on the cold table. "I know I am." The detective blinked and stood. "Where you going?"

"Uh, I think I might have an idea. I'll be right back." He smiled and left the room, leaving Raven in there alone. Johnny tagged along behind the officer.

"Hey! Whatcha gonna do?"

"I'm getting a list of men who are Caucasian and six-feet tall that were recently charged of being sex offenders. Maybe one of them is the guy." Johnny nodded and took his seat near the room.

Moments later, the officer went back into the room with a book in hand. "Alright," he said sitting down, "I've got here a book of recently registered sex offenders. I'm going to show you some images of these men and if anyone of them is the guy, point him out. But only point him out if he's really him, ok?" Raven nodded again. "Ok." He flipped to a page, showed her, and she shook her head. He flipped the page, no. Again, no. Again, no. Again, no. Again.

Raven stood immediately from her chair and backed into the farthest wall, letting out a deafening shriek.

"_Ah, shit! That's him!"_

"Yes! Yes! That's him!" The officer nodded.

"Are you SURE it's him? Take a closer look." Raven shook her head. "Ok, let her out." The officer on the other side of the door opened it and she raced out of the room to a familiar object; Nny. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face in his shirt.

He glared at the officer. "Let me see him." The officer opened his mouth to object, but was cut off. "Let. Me. See." The officer nodded silently and showed Johnny the image of her attacker. He was scrawny with blond hair, brown eyes, and an eyebrow piercing. Johnny abhorred the image. If his eyes were acidic, the picture would no longer be a picture but a puddle of goo on the floor. "Ok." He nodded. The two left the station and walked silently to the gas station for some Brainfreezies. Raven got one in cherry and Nny, grape. The two left and began walking to Raven's house.

"_Hmm, good, huh?"_

"How is it?" Johnny asked quietly. Raven nodded.

"It's good. Yours?" Johnny smiled.

"Good. I have a question? When you were trying to describe the man, did you really forget or were you afraid to say anything?"

Raven looked up at him. "What?"

"The rapist?"

"Oh. I don't know what you're talking about." Johnny stopped walking. He looked dumbfounded and confused.

"The rapist. The policeman asked you to describe your rapist. Remember? Rape?" Raven took in a deep breath to speak, but then froze and stared for a moment. "Raven?" Nny tilted his head. "Raven? You ok?" Raven blinked and nodded.

"Fine."

"_Fine, are you?"_

"Yes, I'm fine." She smiled coldly. Nny frowned.

"_Don't lie. Don't fool yourself, Girl."_

"Ok, then don't believe me. I'm going home." She turned and started walking again with Johnny trailing slowly behind.

Johnny looked at her sadly. He was worried about her. And it was, of course, unusual for him to worry about another individual's health—mental and physical. He had no idea what was going on, not until the next day when he found her sitting on her couch with her knees to her chest staring at the white-and-black screen. The white noise was deafening when he walked in. He pushed the volume down and found that it was up full blast. He even went so far as to turn the TV off altogether, but she didn't budge. She was silent, caught in the ropes of the thousand-mile stare, which made Johnny's heart race faster than it'd raced in a while. "R-Raven?" He whispered. She looked in his direction, but the thousand-mile stare stayed. He lowered his head and closed his eyes, keeping whatever tears that threatened to come out in.

"Don't…touch me…please."

"What?" He opened his eyes to see her curled in a ball in the corner of her couch. Her hands were held up in a defensive position, like she was shielding herself from an attack.

"No…please…don't…no…" She sobbed. "Don't hurt me…please! FUCK!" She lashed out at the invisible attacker, but then quickly gripping her abdomen. Johnny swooped down and drew her into his arms—willingly. She trembled against his body, tears streaming down her face from the awful flashback. Her breathing was irregular and her body's tremors didn't cease for a long while. Johnny felt his heart contort with pain; he could do nothing to help her.

"Nny, don't leave me alone…please." She begged. He nodded.

"I won't ever leave you alone again. I promise." He whispered, his eyes filling once again with unwanted tears.

"Promise?"

"_If you're alone, something bad might happen. Really bad. I mean, look what happened! People, bad. Loneliness, bad. Life, bad. Everything, bad. You're not safe Raven. You're not even in your right mind, these tremors and flashbacks, distancing yourself, locking away emotions…posttraumatic stress to the very last detail. Ah, shit. What a fucked up situation. I mean fuckity fucky shittiness up the ass! Heh, but you're not alone now, are yopu? Stop being sheltered! And plus I'm here to talk to! Talk to me! Tell me what you feel! Tell me HOW you feel! What do you feel? Let it out now for the world to hear! Open! Free! Screw the judgment! Judgment is for pussies!"_

Raven took in a deep breath and said calmly and sincerely, "Nny, I love you."

Johnny held his breath, unable to speak the words back. He was unable to because he locked that emotion away. But he figured the next thing; "I…I don't hate you…"

"_Ah, translation—I love you. Heh, call me Ravi."_

* * *

**AN- YEEEEEAAAHH BOI! *wtf?***

**Well, I didn't anticipate putting Ravi in (Ravi, as in Ravioli) Ooh! Yum! Actually, he wasn't planned at all! (He? She? I haven't come up with Ravi's gender yet...) BE PATIENT! I will! ^o^**

**_~UxieS._**

**PS. Being in Psychology helps with stories like these...and makes you think...and I've been thinking, there's a SHOOT ton of things wrong with me! And Nny. And Raven. BUT I don't care! Cuz you love us all anyways! Unless you're still spiteful about the near-rape scene a few chapters back. Than I gotta say "Get the hwell over it you winey punk!" Hehe, sorry...Lot to say, I've been gone for 4 days! ^_^**

**LOVE YOU ALL**

**Reviews are appreciated!**


	21. Chapter 21

**_AN-, So I've come up with Ravi's gener; male. There, phew!_**

**_IAmLove, AHHHHH! I LOVES YOU SO! XD You're so cute! And I appreciate the dedication to this story!_**

**_LET THIS COMMENCE!_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

**_

* * *

_**

Chapter 21

Johnny opened his eyes after a few minutes of dozing off on Raven's light blue couch. She was curled in a ball in the opposite corner asleep still. He smiled coldly at her. She was by far the sweetest person he'd met and she was in trouble, mentally and physically, because of him. He sighed and stood. Since it was Monday, he thought it'd be a good idea to go get a Fizz Wizz and something special, since it was a somewhat special day. He smiled again and walked out the door to head up to the gas station to purchase said items. Nny inhaled the icy cool air of the winter as he stepped in the soft pure snow, mutilating the sweet barrier of innocence with his violent virtues.

Raven's eyes creaked open slowly as she yawned and stretched out her arms. "Nny?" She hummed. He looked around and noticed he was gone.

_"Hm, I guess Johnny has left?"_

Raven blinked swiftly. "Who…?"

"_It's me, Ravi! I'm your mind. I thought we discussed this."_

"N-no…are you like…a voice or something?"

"_Oh. Well, yes! I am Ravi, the one in your head! You won't be alone anymore! Not with me! I'm here to help!"_

Raven stood and walked in the kitchen. "Well, uh, Ravi," she drawled out his name, "what do you think is good for breakfast?" Ravi thought.

"_Hmm, I don't know. What's in your fridge?"_

Raven opened the refrigerator and peered inside. There were eggs, milk, cheese, but not a lot in the way of breakfast. "Huh, not a lot here is there?"

"_Ooh! Pineapples!"_

Raven noticed a small unopened can of pineapples in the corner so she checked the date. "Still good. But my can opener is broken."

"_Try something else, like…I dunno! Wait, what are you…ah shit! Don't use a knife, idiot!"_

"No, I can get it!" She wedged the knife under the lip of the can and pried. "I can get it."

"_Not with a steak knife! I mean what the fuck? Must I be the voice of reason too?"_

Raven ignored him as she worked the chrome under the lip of the lid. She almost had the thing open when the knife slipped and sliced her finger open. She jumped away and dropped the blade, but noticed no pain. The crimson dribbled down the palm-side of her index finger until the second knuckle when it went to the top-side of her finger and slid down the top of her hand to her wrist. She was confused. It should have hurt. So to test it, she gripped the knife again.

"_WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?"_

Johnny opened the front door again with two Fizz Wizz and a small cinnamon roll in his hands. "Raven?" He called. "Raven, you here still?" He went into the kitchen to set the items down on the counter; he noticed the red spots on the floor. "Raven?" He raced over to her and gripped her left hand. Each finger had a slice on the tips. "What…why did you…why?"

She looked up at him half afraid. "I cut my finger once and I didn't feel anything. I was confused." She squeaked. He shook his head and sighed.

"Fuck me running, Raven! Come on, let's clean off this damned fluid." He ran the cold water of the kitchen sink and stuck her hand under the water while he went to obtain some hydrogen peroxide and band aids. Once each finger had been helped, he handed her the grape Fizz Wizz and the cinnamon roll and headed to the kitchen table with her, his own cherry fizz in hand. She split the roll in half and gave half to Johnny and bit into the gooey sweet pastry. She smiled and took another bite, washing it down with the fizz. Johnny smiled as he watched her eat.

"Thishh ish good." She said with a bite in her mouth. "Fank yooh, Nny." She swallowed and took another sip.

"You're welcome." Nny smiled. "Happy eighth month, Raven."

"You too, Nny." She grinned shyly.

"_AWW! How cute! Are you gonna kiss him, Host?"_

"No, I'm not going to kiss him!" Raven responded, to Johnny's confusion. He raised a questioning eyebrow. "Oh, sorry. Uh, I apparently have a voice. It's kinda creepy. I want to get rid of it."

"_Excuse me, bitch! I'm right here!"_

"A…voice? Like the doughboys or Nail Bunny?"

"Yeah, except he named himself Ravi." She said, eating the last bit of her half. Johnny leaned back in his chair with wide eyes.

"That's not good, Raven. Get psychoanalysis right quick! Voices do things to a person, if you haven't seen." Raven nodded.

"I'll go tomorrow." She said, to Ravi's dismay. The two, or three, sat in silence the rest of the day until it was time for Johnny to go home to feed the wall. Raven panicked and begged to come with him, to not be alone ad he accepted. She tagged along and walked through the not-so-innocent snow to his house. The doughboys and the bunny waited for him at home and 'smiled' when he arrived. Raven went to use the restroom so Nny took this opportunity to have a quick talk with his own voices.

"Why has she developed a voice? WHY?" He whispered angrily.

**Well, if you don't remember, she saw her friend's brutal murder, she was abused by her boyfriend, she was raped, and she was almost stabbed to death all in one day. If that doesn't cause posttraumatic stress disorder and a psychological shift then I don't know what does!**

"But it's RAVEN! She can't have a voice, she was the normal part of me!"

_Selfish much? So concerned about her normalcy contribution to yourself you don't realize how much trouble she's in. Call her doctor and ask what to do! You know she's not gonna call him herself._

Johnny looked down and sniffled. "True."

**It's for the best, Nny.**

Johnny nodded and reached for his phone and punched the phone number or Raven's hospital.

"Hello?" The doctor answered. Johnny took a deep breath.

"Hello, This is Johnny C. I'm calling on behalf of Raven Macbeth. I fear her psychological health isn't well...at all."

* * *

**_AN- I AM HUNGRY! I shall eat dinner now!_**

**_~UxieS._**


	22. Chapter 22

**_AN- Well this one's pretty boring. Just mainly some A7X lyrics. heh, I just don't have that much time tonight to write a real chapter. So I added one of my favorite songs in this one, "Nightmare" by Avenged Sevenfold (A7X). I really just wanted an excuse to put the song in here. I reccomend checking them out! ^_^ Good band. Twisted band but good band._**

**_IAmLove, Naahh, I'm not nice. Well, I am unless someone steals my donut. Then I get pissed. ^_^ But anyways, I can't say what I've said before, so... yeah! [repeat revious 800000000 things I said to you]_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

* * *

Chapter 22

The bathroom door opened and Raven popped out right as Johnny hung up his old beat-up black phone. The tilted her head to the side. "Who was that?" She asked. Johnny smiled.

"N-no one." He lied. "So, do you think you could stay here for a moment? I need to go feed the wall again, and I'd rather not have you down there…with all those damned weapons and all." Raven smiled and nodded. "Good. Uh, I have a walkman and some CD's in the top drawer. Feel free to listen to anything, and if you're hungry, go ahead and eat something in the fridge. I'll be up in about twenty minutes." He smiled and walked down into the prison down below. Raven walked over to the desk with the Doughboys and the bunny. She opened the top drawer and pulled out his walkman along with seven CD's; Disturbed, Metallica, Rise Against, Beethoven, Avenged Sevenfold, Sum 41, and Drowning Pool. She looked at the covers then at the backs where the songs were listed.

"Hmm," she hummed, "which do you think, Voice?"

_"Well this guy's totally a metal head. Huh, Avenged looks pretty intriguing. Try them."_

Raven nodded and opened the CD case and put the CD into the walkman and put the headphones over her ears.

_**Nightmare!  
Now your nightmare comes to life**_

**Dragged ya down below**  
**Down to the devil's show**  
**To be his guest forever**  
**Peace of mind is less than never**  
**Hate to twist your mind**  
**But God ain't on your side**  
**An old acquaintance severed**  
**Burn the world your last endeavor**

_"Hmm, this ain't half bad. Kinda catchy, don't ya think?"_ Raven smiled.

_**Flesh is burning  
You can smell it in the air  
Cause men like you have  
Such easy soul to steal  
So stand in line while  
They ink numbers in your head  
You're now a slave  
Until the end of time here  
Nothing stops the madness,  
Burning, haunting, yearning  
Pull the trigger**_

**You should have known**  
**The price of evil**  
**And it hurts to know**  
**That you belong here, yeah**  
**Ooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare**

Raven caught herself tapping her fingers along the arm of the couch. She wasn't really into metal, but this was a pretty good and unusual treat for her ears.

_**While your nightmare comes to life**_

**Can't wake up and sweat**  
**Cause it ain't over yet**  
**Still dancing with your demons**  
**Victim of your own creation**  
**Beyond the will to fight**  
**Where all that's wrong is right**  
**Where hate don't need a reason**  
**Loathing self-assassination**

**You've been lied to**  
**Just to rape you of your site**  
**And now they have the nerve**  
**To tell you how to feel**  
**So sedated as they**  
**Medicate your brain**  
**And while you slowly**  
**Go insane they tell ya**  
**"Given with the best intentions**  
**help you with your complications"**

She suddenly gasped. She realized that she had to call her doctor. She reached for her cell phone in her pocket and flipped the top open, but hesitated with her fingers above the buttons.

_"No, it's not necessary, my friend. You don't HAVE to tell them. What they don't know won't hurt them."_

"True…" She sighed and put her phone back into her pocket.

_**You should have known  
The price of evil  
And it hurts to know  
That you belong here, yeah  
No one to call  
Everybody to fear  
Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeah  
Ooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare**_

**Fight**  
**Not to fail**  
**Not to fall**  
**Or you'll end up like the others**  
**Die**  
**Die again**  
**Drenched in sin**  
**With no respect for another**

**Down**  
**Feel the fire**  
**Feel the hate**  
**Your pain is what we desire**  
**Lost**  
**Hit the wall**  
**Watch you crawl**  
**Such a replaceable liar**

"Do you think I'm hurt mentally?"

_"HA! What the hell kind of question is THAT? Of COURSE I don't! You're only mentally unstable if you CHOOSE to be!_

Raven doubted him, but didn't argue. What was the point? He was inside her. He could manipulate her subliminally.

_**And I know you hear their voices  
Calling from above  
And I know they may seem real  
These signals of love  
But our life's made up of choices  
Some without appeal  
They took for granted your soul  
And it's ours now to steal**_

**As your nightmare comes to life**

**You should have known**  
**The price of evil**  
**And it hurts to know**  
**That you belong here, yeah**  
**No one to call**  
**Everybody to fear**  
**Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeah**  
**Ooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare**

She found herself dozing off on the couch as the rest of the CD played. She remembered, though, getting a call from someone, but was too tired to actually answer. The last thing she comprehended was the first verse of the next song:

_**Hey kid, do I have your attention?  
I know the way you've been livin'  
Life's so reckless, tragedy endless  
Welcome to the family  
Hey! There's something missing  
Only time will alter your vision  
Never in question, lethal injection  
Welcome to the family.**_

She jolted awake when Johnny poked her a bit. She looked up into his onyx eyes groggily; slightly annoyed that he disturbed her sleep. But she didn't say anything. She just simply took the soft shirt and boxers he offered her and went to change. Johnny took the CD player and CD case from her and noted the time on the clock. It was only twelve in the afternoon and she was already so tired. Well, she didn't sleep a whole lot, if at all, the night previous; must be a side effect of PTSD. He noticed also that her phone had slipped out of her pocket, so he went to give it to her. She took the phone and listened to the voicemail:

"Hey Raven, its Dr. Foreman. Um, just wanted to see how you were. We got an appointment scheduled for tomorrow afternoon to check your psych. Um, we'll personally send a team of doctors to your home to escort you here, seeing as you have no vehicles. Well, thank you for your time. Call me back if you'd like. If not, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Raven." The voicemail ended and she dropped her phone.

"Fuck."

"_AH SHIT! FUCK! DAMN! DOUCHE BAG! I don't wanna leave! Raven! Don't let them take me away!"_

"I…won't…"

* * *

**_AN- Dude, I [emphasis on I] am your fucking nightmare! XD Boring chapter,no? Yes? Well, plot deevelopment and not enough time. I'll write a better one tomorrow or this weekend. DO NOT FEAR!_**

**_~UxieS._**


	23. Chapter 23

**_AN- HOLY SHOOOT! This chapter...I mean...wow! What in the world made em do this? I mean HOLY SHIT! DX_**

**_Uper twisted, just be warned...WARNED! WAARRNNEEDD!_**

**_IAmLove, I know it wasn't. hehe, I hope this one completely makes up for it. I went completely insane on this one... O.o I think I just freaked myself out with my own words! _**

**_Gah! I need a therapist._**

**_ENJOY!_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

**_

* * *

_**

Chapter 23

"Nny?" Raven yawned as she emerged from Johnny's room, rubbing her eyes groggily. Her hair was tied up in a disheveled ponytail-bun mixture. "Johnny? I need to get home. It's 8, and someone's picking me up." She spotted Johnny sitting on the old torn up couch with something small, rectangular, and black. Raven stood still, her black eyes wide with fear. Johnny looked up at her with a small grin. He twirled the gun in his hands occasionally clicking the safety lock on and off.

"Hey there!" He cheered. "What's up?" Raven inhaled once she realized she hadn't taken one in a few seconds. She shrugged and sat down next to him, eyes on the weapon.

"N-nothing. Um, what's with the gun?"

"Oh. This was just recent suicide contemplation. No biggie. So, who's picking you up?" He set the gun on the couch cushion beside him away from Raven.

She scooted a bit closer to him. "My doctor. He called me last night and apparently needs to see me. Hum, he's coming at ten." Johnny stood and stretched his arms out above his head.

"FUN! We can go get some tea and muffins while we wait!" Raven nodded.

"_You, uh, have a freaky ass boyfriend."_

**Johnny! JOHNNY! May I, uh, suggest something?**

Johnny turned to the desk. "Huh?"

**Might this be a bad idea? I mean, YOU'RE the one who called her doctor. YOU'RE the one who's setting her up for years of being locked up in an institution. I don't think tea is appropriate. If you want her to ever forgive you, I'd start kissing her ass and sucking up right now.**

"Oh please, Mr. Eff. Like she's gonna be locked up! I will make sure of that!"

"What?" Raven chirped. Johnny turned back to her and blushed.

"Oh, eh, nothing. Nothing at all. Ready to go?" He gazed at her odd sight. "Uh, no. Go change. I'll get the car ready. I'm entirely too lazy to walk today." She nodded silently and went to change. Johnny grabbed the gun and tucked it inside his long trench coat away from sight. He slipped on his steel tipped boots and went out to start the car. He sat and waited patiently for her to come out, and when she did, he could tell something was not right. She stared blankly for a moment then turned to him with a confused expression.

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Nny, how'd I get out here? I was just inside." She looked around.

_"Hey. Why are you confused? Remember? You walked outside. That's the only way you could have gotten out here, am I right?"_

"Y-yes." She hummed. "Ok, sorry Nny. We can go if you'd like." She smiled a little bit, her expression completely different than a few seconds. Johnny nodded slowly and drove off to the nearest Starcents. Johnny slipped the gun from his coat pocket as she was undoing her seatbelt and he slid it underneath the driver seat thinking to himself, 'Three. Three of them.' "Ready, Nny?" He nodded and got out of the car with Raven close behind.

"RAVEN! Hi!" Her coworkers cheered. "It's been so long! Glad to see you after these few weeks."

"You too!" She smiled happily.

"Ok, what would you like?" He asked as they walked up to the counter. "Mocha?" She nodded and went to sit at a table while Nny ordered.

_"R-Raven? They won't take me away from you, will they?" _Raven shook her head. _"Good. I kinda like you, my Host."_

Raven smiled. "I kinda like you too, I think, Ravi; my Voice."

"You have a voice?" She heard a rather chilling familiar voice creep from behind her. She turned slightly to see over her shoulder. "Hey babe." Raven stumbled clumsily out of her chair, a horrifying shriek erupting from her lips. Johnny whirled around and saw him; blond, brown eyes, and an eyebrow piercing. Hate bubbled deep within Johnny as he reached in his pocket for that familiar heavy cold steel. "Now I just wanna say sorry for what happened before; but you wouldn't let me do it so I had to take you. Just a me thing, I guess." He snickered and took a step towards Raven, who took a step closer to Johnny; well, she would have been closer to Johnny if he hadn't already gotten to the man and shoved the six-inch blade in his gut. Johnny pushed the man into the wall with his hand around his throat, the blade still inside his flesh. They could hear people screaming inside the café, but that didn't bother or concern Johnny.

"Give me THREE fucking reasons you should live today!" Johnny snarled through his teeth, his expression completely indescribable. The terms "seething", "smoldering", or "seeing red" could be as close as any human word could allow, even though none of them even came close to comparing. "THREE FUCKING REASONS, FUCK-TARD!"

The man struggled against Johnny's grip, but the blade cut more of his internal anatomy as he did so. He coughed a bit, blood dribbling down his lips, and smirked. "I don't know, Fag! I don't t-think it's my fault. Y-your b-bitch wasn't in her place…at a man's feet…so I put her on her back!" Johnny huffed, his heart and adrenaline racing in his chest. "Heh, you're lucky! She was so t-tight. You know man, t-there's nothing like fucking a woman and tearing her hymen for the f-first time, yo."

Johnny's mind was set severely off track for a moment; he couldn't believe, even with the knowledge of his impending doom, that sick twisted man had said that to him.

Ravi's voice screamed at her, _"Run, Raven! Go hide! NOW, DAMN IT!"_

"J-Johnny…" She whispered. Her coworkers took hold of her and dragged her behind the counter to hide. Johnny felt wet fluid stream down his face, but he didn't care. He removed the blade from the man's stomach and drove it into each of his arms, disabling the man to use his hands. To Johnny's surprise and dismay, he didn't scream out; he laughed.

The man smiled cynically, so cynically that Johnny felt chills run up his own spine. "That all you got, Pussy? In Hell, I'll get a lot worse! Fuck me up, Cunt!"

Johnny glowered hatefully and whispered in a soft breathy voice, "You're going to die today, Devil."

"Bring it on, Fuck face!" So, he did. Johnny tossed him recklessly to the ground and pierced him several, twenty, thirty, forty times in the chest and abdomen until his arm could not physically move anymore. He panted heavily as he gazed upon the bloody pulpy remains of this…_thing_. The _thing _looked up at Johnny. "T-that's i-it…R-Retard?" Johnny shook his head and smiled savagely.

"No…no, one more thing. Just as an act of revenge for my wife, you shall be hurt and humiliated as much as her. I know it'll hurt you more than it'll hurt me." He said, digging the tip of the knife into his chest and dragging it down, leaving a red trail in its wake, to the man's pants. Johnny chuckled lightly to himself as he felt the man's shredded body writhe beneath his hand. He drove the blade down into the man's nether regions and sawed until…

"FUCK YOU! F-FUCK YOU!" The man screamed. Johnny stood and admired the piece of wasted flesh he'd just dismembered. He was, as bad as he thought this to be, proud of what he did. "FUCK YOU! I have no d-dick…ASSHOLE! How am I s-supposed to fuck in H-Hell?" Johnny gazed down.

"Fingers tend to work, Prick. Or MAYBE you can make a time machine, go back and never do this in the first place! And maybe you could get therapy for your obviously fucked up mind."

"At least kill me now, Homo!" Johnny shook his head.

"Then I'd be doing you a favor." He turned away, leaving the bloody man to his slow death. Raven poked her head around the corner of the counter and stood up to see Johnny's drained face covered in red. She looked up at him, her eyes shining brighter than he'd seen them thus far.

Raven blinked. "You…called me your wife…" Johnny inhaled and reached up to touch her face, his hand still bloody with the blade still in his fingers. He stroked down her cheek, the non-sharp side of the knife smearing the red streaks created by his fingers. He lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers. Raven's arms reached up slowly and wrapped around his neck, drawing him closer and intensifying the kiss. "I…thought you didn't…like to touch people." She said, her forehead against his.

"You're not a person; you're a raven."

* * *

_**AN- AHHHHHHHHHH! So tired. Man, I sometimes worry about my mental health. O.o What do ya think? I didn't think I put enough gore in this story, so...TADA! Here's a gore fix!  
And YES, the last 'raven' is supposed to be lowercased. Like raven the bird...birds fly, angels fly. he's basically saying she's a black angel...I think... O.o I dunno.**_

_**~UxieS.**_


	24. Chapter 24

**_AN- Well...I fear there will only be one or two chapters left...but it was fun writing this! And I really appreciate the love and dedication from readers! I couldn't have, WOULDN'T have, done this without you! Thank you! _**

**_Here is the next chapter. I hope you all will see this story out to the very end. Because I have no choice but to and I'm not doing it alone! ^_^_**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

**_

* * *

_**

Chapter 24

Raven and Johnny walked out of the restaurant awkwardly with a rather obvious black trash bag. They walked closer to each other than they had in the past, Raven trying desperately to grip his hand as he pulled it away playfully. Her face gleamed with a new radiance he'd not seen before, like she'd been renewed; he liked that. They drove to Johnny's house to drop the bag off in the basement.

**Nny! Hello! You seem mighty happy today!**

Johnny smiled and went downstairs to but the bag near the wall then came back up. "It's a good day so far." He stretched. Raven nodded.

"It has." She agreed. "What now?" Johnny looked at the clock on his desk. It'd only been forty-five minutes.

"Why don't you take a shower and then I'll drive you home? You have people coming for you right?" She nodded and headed into the bathroom and closed the door. He sat down and relaxed on the couch, extremely satisfied at the punishment he gave the rapist. He huffed and closed his eyes.

Johnny, I have a question.

"Yes, Bunny?"

D-don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you're doing the right thing?

"What do you mean?"

If she gets examined by the Psychologists, there's a good chance they'll put her in an institution. Those places are where the _real_ issues begin.

He looked over at the dead bunny on his wall. "Nail Bunny, I already said that I would never allow her to go to a loony bin! There's no fucking way she's going!"

**He's right…as much as I loathe admitting that the rodent is right. Are you sure you know what you're doing?**

"Yes!"

_How many do you have?_

"H-how many? T-three…or two…enough for us both, if it comes to that." He sat up.

_How sure are you?_

"About ninety-five percent sure."

**Don't do anything you'll regret…**

Johnny thought a while, and then responded somberly, "I won't." He looked down at his hands; his blood coated hands, and felt the burn of the suffocating skin underneath. "I guess I should clean up." He went into the kitchen and scrubbed his hands clean of the foul red goo.

"Johnny!" Raven called as she walked into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, I really have to go! They called and said they were coming a little earlier."

"Ok, get in the car, I'll be right out." She nodded and went to wait in his old beat up car. Johnny leaned against the sink and inhaled. "It'll be ok, Nny. It'll be ok, don't worry yourself. Easy for you to say, you're not the one with posttraumatic stress disorder…yeah, I know." He nodded, sighed, and went to meet Raven in the car.

They pulled up into her driveway as a small van pulled in as well. Johnny adjusted the mirror to read the side of the van; "West Town Hospital and Mental Health Facility." He glared.

"Ok, bye, Nny!" She leaned in to kiss him lightly before leaving the car and entering the van. Johnny watched them drive off before driving off himself.

The hospital, from the outside, looked quite quaint, and even the front lobby looked halfway innocent. The doctors and Raven walked inside for her psychoanalysis and went down the far hallways. She looked in a room where a bunch of patients sat in chairs doing nothing but staring at them as they walked by. Some looked sad, some were angry, and some had no expression. She came closer to one of the doctors. "It's ok, Raven. Nothing to worry about."

They entered a small room with a desk. Raven sat in one chair as the doctors sat in two other chairs on the other side. "Ok, Raven. We have a few tests just to test your mental stability. They're simple, just try to be as calm as you can and think as clear as you can, alright?" Raven nodded. "Good. Ok, so first we're going to show you some images…"

Johnny walked downstairs to paint the wall with the rapist's blood. That went well, seeing as it all puddle at the bottom of the bag. "There you go, you twat. Are you happy, you dictator of me? Hope you are, because I'm not going to feed you for two weeks this time. What are you going to do about it? Oh yeah, NOTHING! Because you're a WALL! A sedentary stationary WALL!" He snapped at the bloody piece of plaster. He looked around, found nothing else to do at that moment, so he went back upstairs to draw some more 'Happy Noodle Boy' to add to his seemingly infinite number of copies.

"Uh, WHAT?" Raven screeched. "No effing way!"

The doctor shifted on his feet. "I'm sorry, Raven, but when we showed you those images you completely flipped and lashed out." Raven furrowed her brow.

"Those were images of the crime scene, you idiot! Of COURSE I lashed out! Those memories all came rushing back!"

"Well, seeing as you failed the test, you're going to have to get ECT." Raven's eyes widened.

"Absolutely not!"

The doctor flipped through papers on his clipboard. "Well, you have to. This document you signed said that if you fail the test you have to get an ECT."

"What? I didn't sign any papers!" She went to look at the signature. "That's not even MY signature!"

"The R's are yours."

"Oh FANTASTIC! The R is the same! NO! I refuse!" The doctor shook his head.

"Sorry. Stay here; let me set up the machine." He said and he walked into a different room. Raven looked around a bit and then she turned and ran out of the hospital as fast as she could.

* * *

**_AN- BY THE WAAAAYYYYYYYYY... ECT is Electroconvulsive Therapy, also known as Electroshock Therapy. It's a common treatment for mentally unstable people, and it could be considered illegal if done without patient consent. FYIIIIIII_**

**_2 chapters left...how sad... *cry*_**

**_~UxieS._**


	25. Chapter 25

**_AN- I don't know what needs top be said about this chapter...except ly heart is LITERALLY racing! Man, I'm gonna cry._**

**_~UxieSweetie_**

**_

* * *

_**

Chapter 25

Raven ran to the nearest gas station and opened her cell phone as she tried to gain her breath. She punched numbers on the screen and pressed call and waited for the person to pick up. "Hello?" Johnny's voice rang through the speaker.

"Nny!" Raven exclaimed. "I'm SO glad you answered! I really need your help!"

He was silent for a moment. "What's the matter?"

"I need a ride home fast! As soon as possible please! They wanted to do this weird therapy…I think they forged my signature…anyways I think they'll be looking for me. I need a ride home, I can't run that far."

She heard Johnny mumble under his breath, and he spoke, "Ok. Where are you?"

"The gas station at the crossroads Velvet Street and Lincoln Avenue."

_"Raven…I'm scared…I don't want to die…"_

"Ok, I'll be there in ten minutes." He said and he hung up the phone rather loudly.

**…Nny? Is everything ok?**

_Well of COURSE not! Did you not hear the conversation?_

**I was just asking, Hell!**

Johnny slipped his coat on and headed out the door into his car. He gripped the steering wheel roughly until his knuckles were white. He was amazed, even through all the anger in him, that he'd never once cared about the well-being of another human since he despised all of them but this one woman had brought his heart back to life and that he'd do anything to protect her. Still, he felt a bit of resentment for himself since he's the one who called for the psychoanalysis. He took in a deep breath as he pulled into the parking lot. Raven walked up and opened the door and got in, her expression of worry obvious on her face. "Johnny…" She hummed. He looked over coldly at her. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me please. I'm the one who called them." Raven's eyes went wide.

"W-why?"

"Because you have a voice and those generally make people go insane. I just wanted to protect you, because of what I know with mine…"

Raven looked ahead. "But your voices…"

"They tell me to kill people! I don't want that to happen to you!"

_"Oh of COURSE! I think he wants me dead, Raven."_

Raven shook her head at Ravi. "No, Ravi. That's not it at all. I don't think. Johnny, do you want Ravi to go away?" Johnny didn't answer, but pulled out of the parking lot and drove off. "Y-you do, don't you?"

_"Why not? I mean, not like I can't contribute anything to you. I'm just a subliminal manipulative voice-tard to him! To him, I'm superfluous!"_

They drove in silence for about five minutes until Johnny whispered; "Yes, I do." Raven looked down and apologized silently to Ravi, who was breaking down from hurt. She looked around the car and played with her hands before turning to him and whimpering, "I love you, Nny." His response: a little tear sliding down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly as if it was acidic on his skin. "D-do you love me back?"

No answer.

He pulled in to the driveway of her house and parked with the engine still running. "Do you want me to stay here until you feel safe?" Raven nodded. "Ok." He turned off the car and took the keys out, felt underneath his seat leaving the object that was under there alone and got out. Raven's home was cozy compared to the snowy outside.

"Do you want some dinner?" She offered.

"No thank you."

"Nny, please smile for me…just once." He forced a smile, but it was convincing enough for her. She smiled weakly and went into the kitchen to make some noodles. "Nny? If you could go anywhere before you die, where would you go?" Well that was an odd question. He raised an eyebrow and joined her in the kitchen.

"I'm not sure. Probably I'd want to go into space away from people. Where's lots of stars and planets and aliens up there. I like aliens. You?"

"Where would I want to go? You know that really big hill with the drop off? I'd want to go there and look over at the city and stars. It just seems really beautiful up there." He knew that place; he'd go there when he just wanted to get away and lay on the top of his car to gaze at the stars…over the stars.

"I could take you there sometime. Anytime you want." He smiled weakly. She turned to him with happy eyes.

"Really? You would? That'd be fantastic! Can we go tonight? I'll skip dinner!" She turned off the stove and poured the pot of water into the sink. "Let me go to the restroom real quick." She went into the restroom, and there came a knock at her door.

"Can I open it?"

"Yes please!" Johnny opened the door and glared.

"H-hello, is Raven here?" The doctor asked.

Johnny hesitated. "No. Not at the moment. Why?"

"Well, we really need to talk to her; she, uh, must be submitted to our facility."

"The loony bin? Submitted?"

"Well…yes. She failed a test and refused treatment, so it's the only way to help her."

Johnny thought for a moment. If he let her go, he'd break a promise to her and himself. If not, they'd keep harassing her which wouldn't be fun either. So, he came up with a quick little lie and a quick little plot. "I'll bring her over to your hospital tomorrow morning. Personally." He fake-smiled. The doctor grinned as well.

"Thank you." He said and got into the van and drove off. Raven got out of the restroom and walked up beside Nny.

"Who was that?"

"No one. Hey, let's get going." He said forlornly. Raven smiled, nodded, and walked with Johnny to the car. The two drove silently up the canyon road and parked in Nny's usual spot that oversaw the city. It was about ten at night, making the stars shine their brightest. Raven got out and ran to the fence at the edge and looked over at the city. Her face shined with a brilliance that Nny had ever seen; and he began to cry.

He regretted everything. He regretted going to the shop as he reached underneath the seat to take the object he'd stored. He regretted kidnapping her as he stepped out of the car. He even regretted not killing her when he had the chance as he walked up behind her. He regretted saving her life when she was bleeding to death as he held it a few inches from the base of her skull. He imagined, if she'd turned around to see him:

'Nny! Why? I thought you loved me!'

'I do…that's why I must do this; for your safety…'

"Raven…I love you." He whispered as waterfalls of tears leaked from his eyes. Raven didn't turn to him, she still stared over at the brilliance, but he heard Raven whisper a small thank you.

_"Raven...I feel something! Turn around! Rav...!"_

He pulled the trigger.

* * *

**_AN- This is not the last chapter; there is one more. DO not fear. Well, I'm going to start crying. My adrenaline REALLY is pulsing through my veins...I hate when my own things make me get all adrenaline-ey...oh, my hands are shaking too...I don't like it._**

**_~UxieS. *is very sad*_**


	26. Chapter 26

_**AN- Sorry for the wait! I, uh, got a little caught up in the Christmas holiday. Heh (gotst mah own li'l laptop. Yeah, be jealous!) hehehe**_

_**Well...here's the final chapter...this is gonna be SO sad. T_T (to end this.)**_

_**~UxieSweetie**_

* * *

Chapter 26

Raven's body twitched lightly and fell backwards into Johnny, his arms wrapping around her to keep her upright. He could feel the blood seep through his shirt as he buried his face into the crook of her neck and cried. It was for the best, he told himself, though his heart nearly died when he pulled the trigger. His breath was ragged and appeared as a ghost before him before fading away. Johnny trembled and lifted the gun to his own temple, clutching Raven close to him, and sighed once before closing his eyes. "I'll be there in a minute. Wait for me, I want to go over the stars...with you." His voice shook as he pulled the trigger on himself.

Click.

"What?" Click. Click. "F-f-fuck! NO! FUCK NO!" He sobbed and looked in the cartridge of the gun. He had thought there were at least two bullets; there was only one, and he'd used it on the only woman he loved. Throwing the gun over the edge of the cliff, he knelt down with Raven's body against his. Her expression was serene and calm, as if she were only sleeping. Johnny tried to convince himself that she was asleep, but no amount of calling her name woke her. So, for hours, he sat there with her and cried tears he hadn't cried in years. His lips often found their ways to hers.

The funeral was three days later. Johnny didn't go; he couldn't face her or anyone else knowing that he wae one who killed her. Instead, he stayed at home and listened to only one song on repeat, "Hello" by Evanescence, curled up in a ball on his floor as his fingers flitted through the pages of his die-ary. The last ten, it seemed, were all about Raven. "I need to forget..." he whispered to himself. He tore the pages from the book and, with the painting he'd done previously, and locked them away in a vacant room in his basement four stories down. The days went by, but Johnny could not forget what he'd done. It was a record that skipped but had no pause, stop, forward, or rewind functions.

Johnny reached for his Happy Noodle Boy model and threw it at the glass case, freeing his spare gun. He took the weapon in his hands and stuffed it into his coat pocket and walked outside. Next door, Squee and his only friend, Pepito, also the Anti-Christ, played. Pepito's fiery eyes caught Johnny's and pinned him where he stood. Squee waved happily and walked over to him.

"What's wrong, Nny? You haven't been the same for a week." Squee squeaked. Johnny looked over at Pepito, who only lowered his head, still keeping eye contact. He didn't feel the need to say 'I told you so.' Why should he? The consequence was already so apparent.

"I...I have to go. Squee...I...I'll see you later." He turned quickly and walked away. Todd turned to Pepito with a confused look.

Pepito took one step closer to his friend. "Psycho man lies. We must follow him, otherwise his future is bleak. Let us go, Amigo!" Pepito gripped Todd's wrist and followed Johnny.

Nny sat next to Raven's grave stone and plucked the grass. "I'm sorry, Raven. I know...you trusted me but I had to do it. They were going to lock you up. I couldn't allow that to happen. I..I loved you too much, damn it! Fuck...I wish I never would have met you. I wish...I would have killed you from the start! Things would have turned out better!" He looked up to a couple with two twin girls walking towards him.

"Hello." The man said. "I'm Morton Macbeth. We're Raven's parents...You are?"

"Johnny."

"Johnny." The woman smiled with tear-filled eyes. "She told us a lot about you! These are my daughters and Raven's sisters, Seraph and Angela. They're seven. Anyways, I want to personally thank yuo for taking care of my daughter. Johnny stood and placed a hand on Raven's tombstone.

"Please. Don't." He turned and walked away.

Johnny looked in the window of the cafe and sighed. No way would he ever think about entering that damned place again. Never again. He passed the alley where he found Raven after she was raped. That was off limits for him. He passed the gas station where they always walked; he'd never go into that one again.

"Never again." He spoke softly, a few strands of hair falling in his face. He walked up the cement steps of the canyon and stood where he had when he shot Raven. He inhaled and lifted the gun from his pocket to his temple. He knew there was a bullet in this one; he'd loaded it when he bought it and didn't use it once. "I'm joining you, Raven...I hope. If not, I hope heaven is a good place. You belong there." He closed his eyes and counted to five.

One.

Two.

Three.

Squee and Pepito stumbled up to where Johnny stood. Squee's eyes widened as he saw his first ever friend holding a gun to his head.

"NO! Johnny! Stop! PLEASE!" Squee screeched.

Four.

Johnny lowered his head, but ignored his plea.

Five.

Johnny felt small arms wrap around his waist. He looked down and saw Squee's face buried in his shirt. "Don't leave me, Nny. Please, I don't want to be alone." Todd's tears seeped through the fabric and Johnny felt his own eyes filling with fluid. Todd heard a thunk sound near is feet. He looked up at Johnny's sombre expression. Johnny knelt town and peered Todd dead in the eyes and wrapped his arms around the tiny boy.

"I'm so sorry, Squee. I didn't mean for you to see that. I completely forgot. You need me more than anything."

"Let's go home...please?" Johnny smiled coldly and nodded. The three walked back to the homes, safe and unharmed.

The next morning, Johnny took a little break from life to take a trip to his favorite bookstore. He inhaled the scent of paper. He loved that scent. Almost as much as he loved Rav...No. He wouldn't go there. Not today. He picked a few Stephen King books from the shelves and proceeded to the cash out.

"This is for ya?" The cashier asked.

"Yep." Nny responded. He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out the money and handed it to her. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. You know, I see you in here at least once a week. What's your name?" Johnny looked up at her and noticed her eyes immediately; they were a deep oceanic blue. They were accented well with her purple hair pulled up into two pig tails.

Johnny scratched his head and smiled. "I'm Johnny. Yours?"

"Johnny! Nice name! I'm Devi! What brings you here?"

"I'm just trying to forget things right now. I recently...lost my girlfriend of eight months. She was killed."

Devi blinked. "That's...that's terrible! I'm so sorry, Johnny. I know it's a little strange of me to ask, but is there anything I can do to help?"

Johnny thought a moment. "Well...I really need to talk to someone, just to get my mind off of her."

"Of course! My shift ends in ten minutes. Do you think you could wait that long?" Johnny nodded. "Great! I'll be done as soon as I can, Johnny!"

Johnny smiled and took the books from the counter. "Please. Call me Nny."

End.

* * *

_**AN- SO! Whatcha thiiiiiinnnnnnkkkkkk?**_

_**TELL ME!**_

_**Well this was REALLY fun to write! I loved it so much (except for the previous chapter) but I think it was worth it! Thanks to ALL of those who stuck through this the entire time! I appreciate your dedication! I love you! Now I shall commence writing the sister book that takes place ten years into da future! YAY!**_

_**(UPDATE, 1-4-11) It's called **__**"Bittersweet Incubus."**_

_**~UxieS.**_

_**PS. Any questions? PM me anytime! ^o^**_


	27. Acknowledgements, 1 29 11

**Acknowledgements**

Ahhh, well this is my highest reviewed story (as of 1-29-11).

I thought I'd give acknowledgements to those songs, people, etc that kept me going!  
First off, I'd like to thank Twisted Trans-Sister for her story "You Make Me Sick", from which the inspiration for this story came about! **THANK YOU IMMENSELY!**

IAmLove (does not have an account...pooh) for giving me his/her insight!

Also, Demons Dancer (Has an account. YAY) for her dedication to this story! ^_^

ImmolationPiggieOfDoom, xILoVezx, invaderrusty221, and others (look in the reviews) also boosted my spirits while writing this! ^_^

Now for SONGS that I listened to constantly-

**-** "Nightmare" by Avenged Sevenfold

**-** "Hello" by Evanescence

**- **"Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem ft. Rihanna.

**- **"Tourniquet" by Evanescence

**- **The entire "The Sickness" album from Disturbed

**- **"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" by Drowning Pool

**- **"So Far Away" by Avenged Sevenfold

**- **"Na Na Na" by My Chemical Romance

**- **The entire "Bullets" album and "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" album from My Chemical Romance

**- **"Bittersweet" by Apocalyptica ft. Ville Valo and Lauri Ylonen

**- **"Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica

**- **"Creeping Death" by Metalllica

**- **Countless Metallica covers by Apocalyptica

**- **MUCH MORE!

Anyways…YES! I just thought I'd give one last thank you to the big man himself…GOD! For not smiting me whist writing this. (Yes I am Christian)

OH YEAH! And what are acknowledgements without thanking Mr Jhonen C Vasquez? THANKS MR VASQUEZ! I LOVE YOUR WORK AND DO NOT CLAIM ANY AS MY OWN! SO DON'T SUE ME!

Well I LOVE YOU ALL! *points to random person* Not you.

OK! BYE!

~UxieSweetie

Aka SeeGee

AKA Caitlyn

Aka YOU!

Aka *is running out of AKAs*


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